“Part of the paradox of change is that the more we try to change, the more we stay the same. What you resist persists! What you reject, you become! This is a fundamental tenet of gestalt psychotherapy’s paradoxical theory of change. And paradoxically, the more we notice, be curious and stay embodied with and present to where we are, the more we change, unfolding into our potential and becoming more integrated.”
– Noel Haarburger
This is central to both healing and spiritual evolution. Allowing things to be as they are, accepting self and the world, is key to opening.
Otherwise, the drive to change is a resistance to what we don’t want (often based on the past) and/or a grasping at what we do want (often seen as the future). These impede evolution as that only happens now.
Davidya
Hi, Davidya,
I enjoy your posts and often ponder the meaning.
Coming from a Governor background in the 70’s and 80’s, I tend to avoid closely following the political news in the US because of the uncomfortable feelings that arise about ideological divisions, “us and them” analysis…I’m sure you know.
For more opening and spiritual change, are you saying it’s better to face and accept “what is”, and witness those feelings without labeling/judging them? Thank you.
Hi Peggy
While it’s good to be informed, those uncomfortable feelings may be driven by the collective dumping that’s going on. As collective consciousness rises, it purifies. Those who understand this process can support it and enjoy the unfolding. Those who don’t can get caught up in it, resisting and making a drama of it. Fear, anger, and such become the norm. So yeah, you don’t want to wade into that.
Facing and accepting ‘what is’ is key to resolving our stuff, however. Yet it’s important to have good context. To understand what’s taking place, for example. Then we can have more compassion and can witness what’s arising with less judgement.
It’s natural for the mind to judge, so don’t judge the judging. Just favour the more compassionate view if that’s available to you. Compassion includes self-compassion. That can be the hardest. 🙂
You do what you can, allow what you can, and what is here will reveal itself. 🙂
So after the Buddhist monk is given his “one with everything” hotdog, he hands the vendor a twenty but doesn’t receive any change. He asks the vendor, “Where’s my change?”. The vendor replies, “Change has to come from within.”
OK – my pun picture deserved that…
“Acceptance of What Is,” by Wayne Liquorman, disciple of Ramesh Balsekar, a devotee of Nisargadatta Maharaj for many years.
Hi George
Yes, many spiritual teachers talk in similar terms. It’s fundamental to the process.
The distinction to watch for is when people try to do this with the mind. Then it can be co-opted as another way to control the experience.
Constant Change is here to stay. 😀
Hi Gina
Change is the nature of the relative. But the relative is also relative, so change is not an absolute. 🙂