Margaret S. Mahler was a psychiatrist who developed the “separation–individuation theory of child development.” This came to be viewed as the psychological birth of the infant, which takes place over time as a child differentiates self from their mother.
The Symbiotic phase lasts for about 5 months after birth. The child is aware of the mother but experiences oneness with her. World is distinct.
“From the second month on, dim awareness of the need-satisfying object [mother or other primary care-giver] marks the beginning of the phase of normal symbiosis, in which the infant behaves and functions as though he and his mother were an omnipotent system—a dual unity within one common boundary.”
The child soaks up the energy and emotions of those around them to adapt to their birth environment. They discover what is acceptable and what is not, but not cognitively. Their experience is like an amorphous blob of sensation and emotion, with recognitions.
“The normal symbiotic phase marks the all-important phylogenetic capacity of the human being to invest the mother within a vague dual unity that forms the primal soil from which all subsequent human relationships form. The separation-individuation phase is characterized by a steady increase in awareness of the separateness of the self and the “other” which coincides with the origins of a sense of self, of true object relationship, and of awareness of a reality in the outside world.”
“Body Image at about 4 to 5 months of age, at the peak of symbiosis, behavioral phenomena seem to indicate the beginning of the first sub-phase of separation-individuation, namely differentiation. During the symbiotic months — through that activity of the pre-ego which Spitz has described as coenaesthetic receptivity — the young infant has familiarized himself with the mothering half of his symbiotic self, as indicated by the unspecific, social smile. This smile gradually becomes the specific (preferential) smiling response to the mother, which is the crucial sign that a specific bond between the infant and his mother has been established (Bowlby, 1958).”
The separation-individuation phase takes place as the infant develops an ego, identity, and self-cognition. Broadly, this has 3 sub-phases:
Hatching (Differentiation): 5-8 months of age: a growing differentiation from mother. Interest in the outside world grows.
Practising: 9-14 months: with mobility, the world expands, as well as the distinction from mother.
Rapprochement: 15–24 months: there may be a re-emphasis of connection, like wanting to keep the mother in sight.
The mother may not recognize this reattachment, triggering fear of abandonment in the child. Their development of language helps resolve this.
“The birth of the child as an individual comes about when, in response to the mother’s selective response to his cueing, the child gradually alters his behavior. It is the specific unconscious need of the mother that activates out of the infant’s infinite potentialities, those in particular that create for each mother ‘the child’ who reflects her own unique and individual needs. This process takes place, of course, within the range of the child’s innate endowments.”
Also, the infant develops a sense of “Object Constancy”, a recognition that things like mother continue even if not seen. Ideally, they then internalize the sense of mother, creating a secure centre. Maharishi Mahesh Yogi called this “Mother is at home.”
Disruptions in this process can cause poor internalization, a less secure identity, and trauma.
At 24 months, development shifts more to the emotional body, and the “Terrible Two’s” begin.
Dr. Mahler is best known for the book The Psychological Birth Of The Human Infant, Symbiosis And Individuation. Quotes are from this work.
Davidya
Hello David!
This is a very interesting and helpful blog post! Thank you very much for sharing! I will closely observe to see how the experience will be here 🙂
Eva 🙂
Ah yes, a near-term use case.
I’m expecting a grandson in September. 🙂
Oh really, that is great!!! 🙂 🙂
Attachment Theory:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attachment_theory
So interesting. So if the mother experiences severe postpartum depression and is unable to care for the infant directly after birth (as was my case) that could be the root of trauma and/or issues with ‘sense of self’, correct?
Hi Jenifer
Well, I’m no expert, but certainly events like that around birth will likely leave trauma. Similar for premature babies who need to be kept in a neonatal unit for a time, with reduced levels of touch and connection.
It wouldn’t necessarily be the root, but certainly something that disturbs development and can be healed.