Sex is fundamental to our nature as humans. We have an imperative to reproduce. Most cultures set expectations around sex to ensure healthy outcomes. For example, a committed relationship. This ensures the resulting off-spring are cared for and people are treated respectfully.
Too often, expectations become rules that lead to suppression. The powerful energies of creativity are distorted by unnatural guidelines. For example, in the grand cycles of time, spirituality came to emphasize renunciation and celibacy. Yet only a small percent of the population is suited to long-term celibacy. Adopting it inappropriately leads to it leaking out in unhealthy ways.
Harmful expression of sexual energy has become the most prominent ethical issue in modern spiritual and religious circles. Abuse is the shadow of denied healthy expression.
Guidelines such as those proposed by the ASI (APST) can help educate both spiritual leaders and students. But, like the rules above, guidelines alone don’t address shadows. We require education, application, and healing or the words remain hollow.
The sex chakra is also a major driver of emotions and creative, manifesting energy. These are powerful and fundamental forces, some of which we’re largely ignorant of.
Issues that come to mind:
– suppression of emotions & spiritual bypassing make the arena less conscious
– suppression of the sex drive does the same
– suppression leads to acting out and unhealthy expression
– using physical intimacy to replace emotional connection
– changing and undefined mores and roles
– a shift to on-line “social” lives leading to less experience relating
– confusing attraction and karma with a suitable partner
– unconscious needs acted out in relationship
– imbalanced power dynamics in relationship
– taking extreme positions rather than moderation
Addictions, attachments, and dependencies can spin off an overactive 2nd chakra. Avoiding pleasure, fear of sexuality, lack of passion, emotional numbness, boredom, depression, and social disconnection spin off a repressed 2nd chakra. In both cases, balance and healthy expression are lacking.
Healthy expression of the second chakra isn’t just about sex. Do you have a healthy outlet for creativity? Do you enjoy being in your body? Do you experience passion? Are emotions rich and full? Does change inspire you? Do you have a social life?
It’s common in our culture to see a committed relationship as a safe way to express the 2nd chakra. We may seek an easy solution to our emotional, sexual, safety, and social needs. And yet laying it all on one person is folly. Especially when we’re not even conscious of our needs nor what is driving us into a relationship.
Many assume that if we feel a connection with someone, they’re a potential intimate partner. Yet in the current time, unresolved karma drives most attraction. As such, we should take our time and find out if the sense of connection just means we should spend time together. Perhaps a few good conversations will resolve what is behind the attraction.
The combination of karma and unconscious needs leads to a lot of relationships founded on our unresolved past. That doesn’t make for a smooth ride.
Many people need to learn that what they’re looking for is not outside of themselves. We don’t find peace, love, and happiness in things, work, or partners. They’re found within by uncovering what we’ve lost to the suppressed emotional body (Eckhart Tolle calls this the pain body). When they come on-line, we can enjoy them in all areas of life.
People are also unaware that when they have sex, it’s not just physically intimate but energetically too. We exchange energies and an energetic connection even if the sex is only experienced as a physical act.
This energetic connection can support a long-term relationship but it also means we maintain an energy connection to prior partners and continue to “share” long past the end of a relationship. Unhealed prior relationships create ongoing karma and energy to be resolved even with people we’ve not seen in years.
Also, what is moderate and sensible is different for different people. Some have a lot of physical capacity and desire. Does that have healthy outlets? These also change in different ways for different people at different times of life. Rules and expectations don’t serve us well here. What is your body telling you?
Just like so many things, the issues are not with sexual energy itself. It is what we bring to it. How we are within determines how we relate to those around us.
Dorothy Rowe recently spoke of being careful with our intention during sex. On The Unbalanced Masculine article, I spoke of how our core wounds show up in our sexuality, perhaps corrupting it with expressions of power and control.
In moderation and appropriately, sex can be a tool for the awakening process, for opening the heart, and for surrendering to oneness. But from a place of craving, suppression, and attachment, it will pull us away from them.
As we become more conscious of our needs and drivers, we can heal and find balance in life. This sets the stage for much richer experiences and healthier relationships.
Davidya
Last Updated on January 12, 2020 by Davidya
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A masterful insight! I’m grateful for this sharing.
Thanks, George.
Not to obviously, a recent article talks about the third chakra. It’s the lower three that can be called the “personal” chakras and tend to have the most to clear.
https://davidya.ca/2019/03/27/vulnerability/
Sex could be an mystical experience but most of the people stick to 5% efficiency ;).
David is there any chance you could make an topic about loneliness and period of detachment from world ( people work etc ) when all seems to doesn’t fit anymore.
Hi Bartosz
Sex can be many things but like any experience we shouldn’t expect it a certain way. If we allow it to unfold freely, this leads to greater potential. 🙂
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On detachment, there can be a few reasons for that. There is the witness, but this is usually experienced as a blessing. There can be pulling back from strong experiences, a strong version of aversion or resistance. And there can be shifts that change our perception of the world, causing our stories to no longer make sense. This befuddles the mind and makes it grumpy. (this matters much less after awakening)
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Broadly, what you describe may be called a “dark night”. I’ve written on that a few times.
https://davidya.ca/2010/03/12/the-dark-night/
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https://davidya.ca/2012/03/19/the-dark-nights/
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Just be careful not to buy in to a story about difficult experiences being spiritual. You want to move through it, not stay in it.
As I have experienced refinement in this area, more clarity around affection vs attraction has arisen, (heart vs 2nd chakra?) As well as a feeling of safety around exploring what I am feeling without the sense of ego being threatened by it.
Very interesting about the energetic connection.
It seems that it is another area where awareness is key, even watching bad habits can help to see clearly how you are caught and how it is causing suffering.
Thank you David
Wonderful, Pete.
Yes, awareness is key. It introduces choice (sometimes gradually) plus the simple clarity of seeing can resolve any attachments and open the arena up.
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Just remember that the resolution of habits and suffering is not through the mind seeing it but from the mind letting it go. 🙂
Thx David. I am not worried about stories, they collapsed last year. Shocking but releasing experience 😉 For now i just witness all around and is not about judging anything but seeing unhealthy and chaotic way of leaving. Most sad thing about it is that “system” is in really good shape.
Ah – I broadly answer for anyone who may read. But in this case, we can reframe this.
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When the witness kicks in and the stories fall away, there can sometimes be a drier period. The old motivators have fallen away and but the deeper drivers have not kicked in yet. The process can be dominated by unpacking, seeing all the old junk and what can seem like perpetually taking out the trash.
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However, at some point, when enough unpacking is done, the clouds start to part and deeper drivers kick in. What these show up like varies widely. Some are called to a new purpose but many continue their lives much the same but now with a very new perspective. This can include new skills for supporting the collective.
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This isn’t usually a short-term process but one akin to growing up, maturing into the shift.
Always valuable hints David 😉
I was thinking about “process” lately and i have noticed that some people get to the positive results “states” without witnessing darker part and some has to witness all things sometimes difficult as hell. Is it possible it has to do with quality of clarity in later stages?
Hi Bartosz
There are quite a few things that influence the style of unfolding. Primary is our development of consciousness (presence) and of sattva (clarity). It also widely varies how difficult the karma is we’ve tackled for this life and how much trauma thats generated to date. We can simply go through a difficult cycle too.
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Some people have very hard nuts but clean the surface pretty easily. So they have a nice clear process until the nuts start to release. Others have a lot of noise but once they work through that, things clear up a lot. Or they have a life where they just seem to sail right on through. There is all kinds of variations.
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In the end, we don’t really know what our path is until we can look back on it. 🙂
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Yet some of the tougher burnishing from difficulties can lead to great clarity further along. Not to mention compassion and the ability to support others on their journey…
So let’s wait and see then 😉 thx David
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In a sense, this is what life becomes. Before, we were always thinking about the past or planning the future. As this winds down and we let go of doership, we find ourselves just enjoying the unfolding adventure. What joys will arise today?
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Karmic events do arise but progressively more life becomes unfolding potential. New vistas, new richness, new connections…
Im glad that i can hear sound of flute as a background of constant sounds in mundane life. It helps me keep faith in God even in really difficult time when i feel absolutely exhausted. 🙂
Krishna serenades you? 🙂
Interesting I also hear different sounds. Most of the time it is a high pitched hissing kind of sound.
I can’t really locate the sound, sometimes it sounds like it is in the back of my head.
Last week in a deeper meditation it transformed into the sound of Tibetan Singing Bowls.
Hi Jean
Yes, the sound isn’t coming from a place but rather the world around you in general. Everything we experience is being recreated in every moment. Some also experience it as a vibration in their bodies or in everything.
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Subtle hearing sensors are above and behind the physical ears. So you may have been locating where it was being heard rather than where it came from. 🙂
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And yes, like bowl tones, bells, chimes… there are many ways and things we might hear.
No idea David 😉 few years ago i had same with sound similiar to om but more than 6 months i can hear this flutes. I thought that maybe some kind hearing disorder or sth what is happening close to my house but when i notice it even at work and shops behind music and general commotion i stopped looking for explanation. Just accept it as call of universe ( laugh )
Hi Bartosz
Yes, it’s broadly known as refined hearing. There is various kinds of music and tones going on all the time.
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Also, just as behind any emotion we can find bliss, behind any sound we can find music. I’ve seen a number of examples of that. Like a friend coming out of a deep meditation because they heard beautiful music and wondered where it was coming from. As they came back to the surface of experience, they discovered it was a jack hammer on the street outside their window. 🙂
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But yes, in your case it’s more the first type. Ghandarva Veda has music that tries to copy this experience. Like with the bansuri flute.
Glad to hear it 🙂
It is close to this, but pace and rhythm depends on main sound
https://youtu.be/mf3e7nFlM9c
I didnt go nut then , luckily I don’t hear jack hammer at all ( laugh )
🙂
Traditional Indian ragas didn’t use the western scale that was developed for polyphonic instruments. Apparently nature doesn’t either.
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It’s unlikely you’d find something on YouTube that matched exactly. 🙂
Hi David,
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Interesting article, thank you.
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When you say,
“People are also unaware that when they have sex, it’s not just physically intimate but energetically too. We exchange energies and an energetic connection even if the sex is only experienced as a physical act.”
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Would this also apply to sex workers or adult movie actors/actresses where they might see sex as simply a job they do with no apparent emotional connection made to the person they are being physical with?
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If so what would be the consequences of the hundreds or potentially thousands of energetic connections they might establish over the duration of their career?
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Thank you 🙂
Hi G
Yes, it would be the bane of their profession. Especially if former clients fall into nasty circumstances.
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An emotional connection expands the depth of connection but isn’t a requirement. There are ways you could protect yourself or heal but I doubt most have the clarity and skills to do so.
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The primary consequence would be the continued influence of others energy on your mood and health. The professions themselves are hard on the physiology though – violence, infections, addiction, etc – so those are likely to have a larger influence. But quality of life would be difficult to sustain. And it would likely not be apparent why.
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It also speaks to why we should be discriminating in our sexual partners. For example, members of those professions are not likely to be a positive influence on their clients.
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This is not to suggest we should ostracize people who have traveled this path. Everything can be healed. But they have a difficult road.
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Energy healers who have worked with such would be able to say more.
Sound as sound but there is no chance to copy depth and untraceable source of it 🙂
Right, Bartosz
Often, it’s not coming from a place but rather from the entirety of the world around us being recreated in every moment.
Thanks for writing this article. Sex is something so commonly pushed under the rug in spiritual circles leaving people to deal with it on their own. Which as you explained above can lead to a whole tyranny of mishaps. I appreciate the insight and the time you take to respond to everyone who comments also.
Hi Joel
Yes, all sorts of issues from suppression. I’ve also seen retreats where many were looking for a partner so they could stop being monks. Or teachers saying who they should marry or divorce, giving your daughters to the leader, or even sexual free-for-alls. Lots of craziness at both extremes.
Hi Davidya
I got more interested in the 2nd chakra after reading this older post of yours: https://davidya.ca/2012/04/06/nancy-shipley-rubin/
I´ve been diving more deeply into this 2nd chakra area and what it represents and I’ve found a lot of blockage and negativity there. It feels a lot of guilt associated with pleasure and enjoyment, and not just sexual pleasure – even the bliss of meditation and existing.
A lot of cultural conditioning. It’s almost like I can hear the voices of my parents, teachers and society and its institutions telling me that I should be more useful instead of just enjoying myself.
That of course has created a belief that enjoyment and work are opposites.
That unconscious belief has created circumstances in which doing work is unpleasant “but at least I feel worthy.”
Interestingly, I find the reason for guilt originating from the 2nd chakra but physically the energy of guilt seems to rise up to the throat. Feels like a lump in my throat. Sometimes it goes through the heart too.
In this video Nancy Shipley Rubin has said that (paraphrasing) the heart doesn’t break, it just feels like that but the problem is in other aspects, such as personal power etc. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oq9Js8brQv4
I’m finding that to be true. Feels like opening the heart does involve working with all the centers, not just the one.
Hi Ollie
Yes, the lower 3 “personal” chakras are where we find the must crud and programming. And yet, the chakras are are all intertwined so threads interconnect almost everything.
Another way to think of it – nothing shows up on the surface that doesn’t have a more subtle basis. That’s how creation works, even if the surface is a distortion of the fundamental principle. The chakras each support their level but work together.