Sex is fundamental to our nature as humans. We have an imperative to reproduce. Most cultures set expectations around sex to ensure healthy outcomes. For example, a committed relationship. This ensures the resulting off-spring are cared for and people are treated respectfully.
Too often, expectations become rules that lead to suppression. The powerful energies of creativity are distorted by unnatural guidelines. For example, in the grand cycles of time, spirituality came to emphasize renunciation and celibacy. Yet only a small percent of the population is suited to long-term celibacy. Adopting it inappropriately leads to it leaking out in unhealthy ways.
Harmful expression of sexual energy has become the most prominent ethical issue in modern spiritual and religious circles. Abuse is the shadow of denied healthy expression.
Guidelines such as those proposed by the ASI (APST) can help educate both spiritual leaders and students. But, like the rules above, guidelines alone don’t address shadows. We require education, application, and healing or the words remain hollow.
The sex chakra is also a major driver of emotions and creative, manifesting energy. These are powerful and fundamental forces, some of which we’re largely ignorant of.
Issues that come to mind:
– suppression of emotions & spiritual bypassing make the arena less conscious
– suppression of the sex drive does the same
– suppression leads to acting out and unhealthy expression
– using physical intimacy to replace emotional connection
– changing and undefined mores and roles
– a shift to on-line “social” lives leading to less experience relating
– confusing attraction and karma with a suitable partner
– unconscious needs acted out in relationship
– imbalanced power dynamics in relationship
– taking extreme positions rather than moderation
Addictions, attachments, and dependencies can spin off an overactive 2nd chakra. Avoiding pleasure, fear of sexuality, lack of passion, emotional numbness, boredom, depression, and social disconnection spin off a repressed 2nd chakra. In both cases, balance and healthy expression are lacking.
Healthy expression of the second chakra isn’t just about sex. Do you have a healthy outlet for creativity? Do you enjoy being in your body? Do you experience passion? Are emotions rich and full? Does change inspire you? Do you have a social life?
It’s common in our culture to see a committed relationship as a safe way to express the 2nd chakra. We may seek an easy solution to our emotional, sexual, safety, and social needs. And yet laying it all on one person is folly. Especially when we’re not even conscious of our needs nor what is driving us into a relationship.
Many assume that if we feel a connection with someone, they’re a potential intimate partner. Yet in the current time, unresolved karma drives most attraction. As such, we should take our time and find out if the sense of connection just means we should spend time together. Perhaps a few good conversations will resolve what is behind the attraction.
The combination of karma and unconscious needs leads to a lot of relationships founded on our unresolved past. That doesn’t make for a smooth ride.
Many people need to learn that what they’re looking for is not outside of themselves. We don’t find peace, love, and happiness in things, work, or partners. They’re found within by uncovering what we’ve lost to the suppressed emotional body (Eckhart Tolle calls this the pain body). When they come on-line, we can enjoy them in all areas of life.
People are also unaware that when they have sex, it’s not just physically intimate but energetically too. We exchange energies and an energetic connection even if the sex is only experienced as a physical act.
This energetic connection can support a long-term relationship but it also means we maintain an energy connection to prior partners and continue to “share” long past the end of a relationship. Unhealed prior relationships create ongoing karma and energy to be resolved even with people we’ve not seen in years.
Also, what is moderate and sensible is different for different people. Some have a lot of physical capacity and desire. Does that have healthy outlets? These also change in different ways for different people at different times of life. Rules and expectations don’t serve us well here. What is your body telling you?
Just like so many things, the issues are not with sexual energy itself. It is what we bring to it. How we are within determines how we relate to those around us.
Dorothy Rowe recently spoke of being careful with our intention during sex. On The Unbalanced Masculine article, I spoke of how our core wounds show up in our sexuality, perhaps corrupting it with expressions of power and control.
In moderation and appropriately, sex can be a tool for the awakening process, for opening the heart, and for surrendering to oneness. But from a place of craving, suppression, and attachment, it will pull us away from them.
As we become more conscious of our needs and drivers, we can heal and find balance in life. This sets the stage for much richer experiences and healthier relationships.