“ When a painful story arises, it’s a belief from the past that arises in the moment. There’s the possibility that rather than tightening up and bracing yourself against what’s here, you could actually embrace it … watch and feel what’s present … allow the sensations to be here. Inquiry is bringing Consciousness – space and tenderness – to the experience. Consciousness has this tremendous ability to move through the story or conditioning … You can let yourself experience whatever is here. Do you recognize that? Space is very tender. Who you are is very tender.”
— Neelam
This is what I mean by allowing. This is resolving past incomplete experiences, otherwise known as karma. This is winding down the past and lifting the burden of what has been, revealing what is here now that can handle anything.
“The nature of the mind is to generate conversations, often fearful ones. Rather than running from the story, invite it. Call its bluff.”
— Gangaji
Note that what is here is tender but also indestructible. The high heart cannot be broken, just broken open.
To culture this ability to be present with what is here, I recommend an effortless meditation that connects you to source within. That cultures awareness and thus the ability to notice & inquire. Secondly, I recommend culturing gratitude. Not as a mood but as an honest thankfulness. That helps us appriecate and open to what is here.
Davidya
If something seems too painful in the moment, some teachers offer ways to deal with that without permanently avoiding it. For example, notice the pain. Then notice where it is not. Or notice the pain, then notice that your feet are being supported by the floor, etc.
Focusing exclusively on an overwhelming pain can itself be traumatic sometimes. Good to have some techniques for grounding handy.
Right – there can be great resistance to the experience. And there can be some overwhelming loads in there. Forms of body awareness are often recommended to help facilitate the release of big blocks. Even the simple shifting of attention. We may need a little help with some of it.
But it’s important to recognize we do not have to go back into the experience and relive it. What we’re wanting to do is to allow the energy to complete and release. So even if it has a big charge, it’s about allowing the charge to complete and dissipate.
Then, the memory will still be there but the charge will be gone. It will no longer be a burden, just what has been.
Just focusing on the pain itself makes it stronger in our awareness and can make it more real and more fearful, in effect reinforcing it.
Great point.
Thank you. Yes, I agree that we want the energy to complete and dissipate. So it’s just a matter of how to allow that. But without adding more stress or charge. One of the techniques I mentioned comes from Peter Levine who studied how animals in the wild handle trauma. And yes, grounding via body awareness is key, I think, in these situations.
Right. It’s worth noting this is an experiential process you learn by doing.
Also – meditation is a key aspect as it both settles us and cultures the observer that allows simple conscious observation. Then we’re not so caught by the charge and can let it go more easily.
In other words – it gets easier with both practice and awareness.
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