There’s an old saying in this part of the world – “You can take the girl out of the country but you can’t take the country out of the girl.” As is true of many such sayings, there are many variations like boy, city, and so on.
The basic truth is, our history informs our view of the world and the choices we make. This goes right into the cosmic memory that sustains the world allowing it, and us, to unfold.
Clearly, our history runs deep. We have our personal history from this life, our soul’s history through many lives, our ancestral history through many lives, the history of the community we live in, our planet, universe, and the cosmic. There is no separate person, and no one is alone. We’re in this together.
Coming to peace with our history is key for a happy life. This means becoming conscious of those influences, resolving what remains unresolved, and detaching ourselves from its weight.
This doesn’t mean we have to discover all of our past lives, our entire blood line, community history, and all that. It simply means we want to resolve, over time, whatever places of resistance we run into. That’s where there is something unresolved.
While we’re unconscious and attached, our past will rule our life. This may take the form of obsessing over the past as a victim, as regret, dreaming about what might have been, or obsessing over the future. Even chasing pleasure can be an aversion to pain. All of that is avoiding the life that is here, now.
When we’ve come to terms with our history, we settle naturally into the present. Being here now isn’t something we can contrive. It is the natural result of unloading the past.
And that results from meeting the past and resolving its charge. Letting go of the resistance. Some of that territory can be easy – just see it come up in life and let it go. But some of it can be rough. Stuff we never want to look at or touch with a ten-foot pole.
But ironically, what has the most charge has the most influence. What we don’t want to deal with is what’s influencing our perception and choices the most.
For example, we have a bad relationship experience. As a result, people will often go into avoidance. Won’t make That mistake again! Or we’ll search for a replacement that doesn’t have whatever we think created that bad experience. Say we found the partner was too controlling, so we look for someone who isn’t.
The problem with this approach is it’s an avoidance response. Someone who isn’t controlling won’t necessarily meet our actual needs at all. And it will often tend to entrench our past by reinforcing its “truth”.
What is our truth? What are the stories you tell others whenever you have the chance?
We want to be patient with ourselves. This work takes time. We’re undoing bindings to a lot of history. But the result is deeply rewarding. Free of the charge and weight, good choices become much easier to make as the way is more clear. Results come better. Life is smoother. Happiness is normal.
Not that our past won’t be an influence. Our history may include great learning. And our “Mission” in life is usually driven by our past pain. Many people become healers after overcoming health issues, for example.
But what form does this take? The wounded healer? The suffering artist? The unrecognized genius?
Released from the charges, we’re acting from what we’ve learned and can use to help others rather than acting from what we’re trying to avoid. The healed healer. The visionary artist. The clear genius. There’s a big difference between acting out of pain and being informed by past pain.
By all means, live your history. But live it here, now.