When we’re speaking, we may think that what we say is the most important. It can be for us. But how we say it communicates a lot more.
Broadly, only 7% of what we communicate is in what we say. In addition, our audience frequently becomes distracted, causing them to miss parts of what we say.
The tone of what we’re saying is over five times (38%) more important. This may not be conscious, but it is having more impact. This is most noticeable with listening to a speech. Someone droning can put us to sleep. Public speakers, news anchors, actors, and other performers practice communicating tone and variety so they can communicate better.
Some of the world’s languages include tone to communicate meaning. In the West, we do it less consciously.
Over half (55%) of communication is nonverbal. This includes what we “say” with our facial expressions and body language. To this, I would add our energy. Even though it’s typically subconscious, our energy communicates volumes.
It’s easy to see how we communicate way more than the mind thinks we do.
Often we wear masks to cover our vulnerability and those unaccepted parts of ourselves. We try to be what others have expected of us or what is more palatable. Like trying to be small, pleasant, or invisible. But this also covers who we are. We adopt a persona rather than communicating who we are. But what this communicates is falsehood. We are not aligning our energy and presentation.
This can make things like small business marketing challenging. If we’re not aligned with what we present, we attract the wrong people and scare off the people who are aligned.
This process also divides us from our body and present-moment awareness. And it gets entangled with identity. We build a false sense of self based on coping rather than who we are.
Davidya
Thanks David.
In my communication with God, he says he doesn’t prefer words because of how superficial it is. He says words are simply masks for what our true feelings and experiences are. Words aren’t the true reality of our knowing.
So God will communicate via knowings, truth, feelings and highest joy. “Feeling awareness is my language and the language of your Soul.”
The human receiver will translate that into “words” but funny enough, humans place more importance on the word more-so than their inner knowing and feeling.
Ditto with the sages and devas, Stephen.
Different people will have a more dominant sense or style of interaction they prefer – feelings, knowing, seeing, hearing, etc. This can gradually grow to become more inclusive of other styles if we support that.
And yes, many people have shut down their knowing and feeling as a coping mechanism to avoid unresolved experiences. It’s not easy to be in the world of suffering and rise above it.
But the potential is so much more.
Ironically, writing (like this) is even more removed. Words as patterns on a page or screen. But it does allow us to point at things others may have forgotten. 💖