Recently, I saw a presentation on mental health. They leaned on Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT), which is dominant in modern psychological practice. This is often called talk therapy. Certainly, talking it out and learning to reframe our experiences are good life skills, but that will only take you so far.
More recent science has revealed the deep role unresolved experiences (traumas) have in our life. As I’ve discussed, these create reactivity and habit patterns as coping strategies. But they shadow our life, burden our identity, and impede a fulfilled life.
As I’ve been writing the next books, I’ve included sections on Somatics and healing these burdens. And I’ll be updating Our Natural Potential with a section on it too, as it has such a key role in quality of life and the ability to embody enlightenment.
Learning better ways of processing our life experiences can be very helpful. I certainly recommend working with a qualified practitioner to get started. I recommend a few here.
However, there’s another route we can take. It takes more time, but it pays for itself in benefits. That is, to study somatic therapy yourself. This way we deeply learn the mechanics and we do a bunch of sessions with fellow students.
Many start with a free intro course like Trauma-Informed Coaching. If that appeals, you can go on into Embodied Processing.
You can wait for the regular sales when they offer significant discounts. The cost more than pays for itself simply in therapy value. And if you want, you can become certified and offer it as a service. It complements many other modalities. And it can have an enormous impact on quality of life. Many traditional therapists are adding it to their toolkits.
David
Here’s s a new summary page about Embodied Processing
https://www.thecentreforhealing.com/ep-info-page
To everyone on the edge of the decision to do the course. I can recommend it as well. I did exactly what David writes. I read about it on the blog, did the free coaching and foundation courses, some sessions and then decided to do the training.
Additionally to understanding it better, doing the course brings up unresolved topics as well. For me it turned out to be a kind of “trauma inspection”. Reflecting and seeing which topics lead to contractions, combined with the practice session with other students, is a great way to work through a lot of stuff fast. Topics I might not have been aware of came up. With others I didn’t thought there was much there, that turned out to be “biggies”.
@David: I like your term “unresolved experiences”. I am looking for a good way to describe it (in my first language). For me the word “trauma” has a heaviness and makes it sound pathological (don’t know if that’s the right way to describe it). “Survival adaptation” that is often used, from the point of view of an adult has the heaviness as well. But that is probably my lens with still a lot of unresolved experiences and constant hum of fear in the body. I like the exploration and curiosity framing that is used a lot. Even though the process can be intense.
Thanks for sharing, Torben. My experience has been very similar. My long meditation practice had healed a lot and calmed a lot. But there were layers of carefully hidden contractions which got in the way of a deeper embodiment of spiritual development. I can see why I was called to study this.
It’s the fun part of spiritual development. It makes you far more aware – both of all the layers of our being and how the world is, but also of all those shadows of remaining unresolved experiences – if we’re willing to see. I agree that an attitude of curiosity is ideal. An open exploration of what is here allows us to expand and heal in the smoothest way.
And I saw the profound benefits everyone was experiencing as they learned and practiced.
And yes, I understand the points you raise. I began using “unfinished experiences” as I realized that’s what they were. What we hadn’t had the capacity or willingness to digest at the time. Also, how closely this was related to suffering, and to karma.
Yes, I feel it helps me on the spiritual development as well. Even though I have done thousands of hours of meditation I never really had any major spiritual experiences (a few minor ones). Sitting on meditation calls or online retreats with people sharing all these experiences I always wondered why that is. Now I see my nervous system wouldn’t allow to really let go. It doesn’t feel safe. I was on a resourcing group call today and realized that even in sitting and giving my weight to the chair, there was a small contraction of not feeling safe to let go. I know experiences and shifts are two different things, but having a calmer mind and state in meditation is really nice.
Another aspect of doing the course that is beneficial for me is that it gave me a map and vocabulary of experiences. Similar to what you are doing with your book in spirituality, I find it very helpful to have a framework to distinguish emotions and states and then process it. Just in the last week I realized I have a lot of unfinished experiences of a relationship that ended a decade ago, which was fueled by unresolved stuff from childhood, which made it hard to set boundaries and probably put me in a mild freeze state until today. When I felt into it before I started to do the work I felt nothing and thought “great, nothing to see here”. Now I realize I was numb. Now a lot of anger, sadness and “no” is coming up and I am able to process it. Great stuff 🙂
Yes, Torben, that’s an important observation. Spiritual experiences and shifts happen when we let go and open. The light can’t come in if the door is closed. Sometimes, people wake up when they let go accidentally, like in giving up trying.
And agreed, being able to name and distinguish is an important skill. They won’t in themselves help us process the experience, but will make it easier to let go.
Your experience is also very common. We can think we’re neutral and okay when it’s actually shut down. When we begin to see it, it can surprise us, but it allows us to process the load and clear the decks.
Thanks for sharing!
Just a few thoughts from my experience as a therapist. CBT is one form of talk therapy among many, inlcuding jungian (where ideas about dream analysis, intro/extraversion, archetypes, etc come from), existential (much less cerebral than it sounds and very embodied in the process of dual dialogue inward with self and outward with the world), to name only a few. Even CBT as probably the bluntest instrument of a modality does work on core beliefs through how they surface in real time as automatic thoughts which then lead to feelings (both emotional and somatic), and resulting behaviours.
I supervise a lot of new therapists getting ready for licensure and they are increasingly trained in somatics which is important but I think it’s a mistake to generalize too much and to say that only somatic work really gets to the heart of a psychological problem. If someone is struggling with a panic disorder for example, CBT is probably the best bet for treatment because it has very detailed and actually nuanced protocols to help the body identify true threat and change stuck behaviours that cause looping.
I say all of this because I see people on a spiritual path who spiritualize everything but it seems to me could use the help of someone trained in cognition, emotions and somatics (ie a therapist) to help with integration.
Fair enough, Lynden
The opening reference was to a presentation I went to, not by therapists. The idea of the article was the importance of somatic work in a spiritual process. There is a major emphasis on up and out (transcendence) but without bringing that back down and in. For many, there is an aversion to the body which impedes embodiment.
But yes, this isn’t advice for psychological problems, some of which may need other approaches.
Thanks for the feedback.