I’ve observed that we naturally develop roles or patterns of behaviour. Like we learn how to ride a bike, or we learn how to be a parent or a worker or a lover. These patterns become habit and automatic. This increases efficiency, but we can drop into habit mode a lot. This means we can live unconsciously for much of the time. Like when we’re driving and realize we’ve driven the way to work when that wasn’t where we planned to go.
When those habit patterns get co-opted by the trauma process, the habits become unconscious ways of coping that avoid how we feel. We develop habits and roles that are trauma-based instead of nature-based. Our personality can become dominated by trauma coping behaviours. We may think “that’s just who I am” rather than recognizing some of it is the load we carry, not who we are.
Depending on the load we carry and how we carry it, the spiritual and healing journey can be quite transformative. When those identity entanglements are resolved, it allows our personal nature to come more fully forward. Our gifts can shine and our life can help lift others, even by being.
Davidya