Occasionally, someone will mention their fear of silence, of self-annihilation, or of spiritual practices.
Such dread isn’t a quality of silence. Silence is infinite, eternal and deeply peaceful. Alive silence is also blissful.
However, that deep settledness we get in silence gives the body deep rest. That’s an opportunity for healing that can trigger purification.
One type of purification is bringing old, incomplete emotions to the surface like fear. This is actually desirable. If we’re willing to allow the emotion to arise, it will quickly peak and be resolved. It was just waiting for a chance to complete. Then we’ll no longer carry that around, shadowing our experiences.
So it’s so important to understand the basics of healing. If we don’t, we’re likely to resist what arises. Then healing doesn’t happen, and the emotion doesn’t complete – again. The unhealed emotion remains, shadowing experience and waiting for another chance to complete.
This cycling of emotions powers the wheel of karma. And it keeps us away from peace.
One of our biggest fears is that of death.
I’ve found that death itself is fine. It can be quite pleasant and a relief if our body is having troubles. What we actually fear is dying, the transition.
This is because of a few influences:
– fear of the unknown
– dying badly or painfully in a prior life
– losing control
The movement away from faith and into a materialist paradigm has left a gap in our relationship with death. We’re left with an unknown that we naturally fear.
I had a relative resist death for years until they lost enough self-sense to forget their fear. Ironically, they then cross the veil and discover it’s not a void at all. Remembering or a direct experience will resolve this fear.
If we remember and heal a grim experience of dying, that too will fall away. For example, a friend struggled for years with weight issues. Finally she discovered that in a prior life, she’d starved to death on a ship lost at sea. Once she recognized this, and the contraction resolved, the issue dissolved too. (This doesn’t mean you need to remember past lives to heal trauma – it’s just one way.)
The fear of losing control is courtesy of an identified ego. Even though we “lose control” every night when we fall asleep (the ego goes off line when the mind sleeps), the ego maintains a long illusion of being in control of our life. It has been claiming doership after the fact for years. It fears us seeing this and can create distractions when we get close. This can be one challenge of waking up. But also a strong sign we’re not the ego if it’s working to keep us in the dark.
The solution in this case is spiritual practices that soften the grip of the ego by experiencing our deeper nature. Then awakening itself drops us out of that mental cage.
Moving past some of this allows for a more conscious death that becomes a rite of passage. Death can be a completion, like graduating from this grade.
There is nothing to fear.
Davidya
Important understanding — our death from our perspective. Also important is our death from others’ perspectives — those we leave behind. The highest swamis and lowliest householders all have a ticket out, but we should remember our responsibilities in the world as we go. Leaving, for example, with open-ended, complicated affairs with loose ends flying all around is irresponsible. Dying without a will (intestate) is inexcusable. Getting everything here in this life in apple pie order seems like it would make leaving actually easier and less worrisome. So often we look at things as how they affect us without considering others that may be directly affected. If you want your family and friends to send you kind, loving thoughts after you’ve gone, don’t leave them hanging to iron out things with great difficulty that you could have settled very simply had you given it a thought while alive. That’s what comes to my mind, anyway. I know, I strayed, but this is where the piece took my tiny mind.
Hi George
Yes, these are threads of attachment that bind us to others and our history. When we resolve them, we let them go and come to a much more complete conclusion. When we don’t, we drag ourselves back to our past to complete them.
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In many jurisdictions, if we die without a will, we leave it to the government to settle our estate. That may have little to do with our desires and will take much longer, wasting the estate on expenses.
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Yet, people may avoid the topic due to unresolved or irrational fears. And sometimes, despite our best efforts, we leave with unresolved issues. Happily, there is always support for healing, even after we cross over.
Davidya hello
Thank you for this piece. My mother who is 90 lives next door. She has some health issues, but before this Covid virus, she was playing bridge three days per week and driving. Now she is getting weaker just due to isolation. Jyotishis (Prasanan, James Kelleher) have told me that she does not have much more time in this body and I know it is hard to predict these things and on she goes….as you mentioned, I think she really has fear of dying and especially in a painful way or in surroundings that are not of her choosing. She lost her dad to lung cancer as a 9 year old child and so must carry some fear or suppressed feelings from that. She is religious but not at all open to ideas outside of that context. As only child, she does not take instruction or advice from me. I could help her as I am a gentle yoga teacher and know calming breath practices…but no go. This just may be her path to travel and all I can do is hold her hand when the time comes. If you have any suggestions, I would love to hear.
Hi Carol
Yes, our experiences both past and from prior lives have a bigger influence on us that our ideas. Many religions have some not very helpful ideas about death, like black-and-white heaven and hell or supposed-tos.
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And yes, parents often are uncomfortable with accepting advice from kids, even from their field of expertise. I was my mothers third but advice?
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You have the right idea. This is indeed her path to travel and learn by doing so. What you can do is those practices that help you so you can be there for her through the process, as best you can.
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My mother timed her passing (as a soul, not a person) when all of her children were present. Her cousin, who passed 2 weeks later, timed it for when she was alone. Many leave in their sleep when the minds fears are at rest.
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Again, it’s the approach that can be bumpy because of personal fears. Once they step into the process, they’ll be fine and well supported. So your role is just to be there, as you can be, for the first part.
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You may find this article insightful.
https://davidya.ca/2019/04/24/more-on-death/
It’s also useful to mention that people generally hang around for a few days after they leave the body, letting go and saying goodbyes. She’ll visit but may or may not be able to make herself known.
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My mother hung around for a couple of weeks, a little more reticent to let go. A friend of mine made herself known to many people she knew. A lot of story behind her celebration of life. 🙂
Hello, is it causal body that hangs around? I felt my father was hanging around. I thought it was my illusion.
Hi Guru
It’s not useful to think of the subtle bodies as separate. They’re a progressive expression. The causal is essentially a template in a universal field.
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When we die, the soul pulls out of the physical body, then as we cross over, the emotional body and lower mind. The rest of us carries forward.
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For the average person, the above is most of their life experience. But that’s only the surface expression of the soul. We carry on but the specifics of this life fall away, leaving just memory.
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It’s very common for people to hang around when they first pass but it varies how much they can make themselves known, or want to. It’s basically a grace period to let go and say good-bye so it varies widely how long that is.
Hi David
Great post!
Have a question regarding the illusion of doership claimed by the ego. So, would it be that all actions including the ones we see as evil are also not intiatied by the ego. So, who or what is the source of such thoughts, feelings and actions. Is it that totality is doing it through each body/mind. But, if that is the case then the body/mind through which an evil action is enacted has to also bear the consquences of that action which does not seem fair. If the consequences are due to attachment of the ego by claiming ownership of the action then even body/minds through which supposedly good actions happen also have egos that claim doership but such body/minds seem to reap good reactions/consequences.
Also another question regarding this. Is the standpoint that totality is acting through all of us and for all of us a valid one. If so, then would the force of the reactions (consquences) to our actions (whether they be good or bad) also not all be reflected back to the body/mind through which the actions were effected by totality and be in fact kind of spread out (for lack of a better word) to others as well. In this context, I am specifically thinking of the concept of reincrantion where the consequences of action in one life follows us until it gets resovled (even if that takes place in some other future life time).
Also, then given the above, what would be the boundaries of our individual and collective karma (with family, with other souls in general)
Thanks!
Sanjay
Hi Sanjay
It’s not quite that simple. There is still free will and choice in play. It’s not that all actions originate with source but rather it’s mixed together. Yet the ego claims them all as ‘my doing’. That claim also interferes with smooth flow of deeper movement.
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When we act naturally from source, there are no karmic residues. When we get in the way of the process or act against nature, that’s when we create imbalance and karmic consequences. Similarly, when we resist what is arising in life, we create incomplete experiences which also create residues.
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This is the deep challenge of being ego-identified. We can’t see what is right action. There’s more on this on the next post.
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Another point here – source and becoming operate at a different level than the field of action. The field of action simply seeks its own balance so the unfolding world can be sustained. Source creates and destroys to move things along.
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It’s been said that those that hate the enlightened gain their remaining bad karma and those who love them gain their good. I’ve not seen obvious examples of that but it is clear that karma is resolved across many lifetimes.
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Time becomes very curious in this context as resolving the energy from a deep enough level resolves is across time, including in the past. That effectively changes the past, like that trauma was never held.
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The boundary is the field of action. On that level, it is effectively infinite. For example, you resolve a past trauma that caused behaviour in prior lives. That changes how you act which changes how those around you acted. But it also spreads. For example, you no longer kill someone and now they go on to have a child who has further children… A whole section of the play is retroactively rewritten.
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This is another reason karma is unfathomable even though the basics are straightforward. 🙂
Thank you David for trying to explain what seems to be a complex topic.
It’s the mechanics of the world so the permutations are very complex, Sanjay. But the basic rules are straightforward. For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction, for example. Always seeking balance.
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Also, the rules of each level are somewhat distinct because their function varies. Thoughts don’t behave the same way as fruit, for example. 🙂
Also, David wanted to understand the dynamics of thoughts. Why do we have so many thoughts. Is it coz of identification with the ego and its expectations and attachements. Have heard some teachings which say that thoughts are not only of the ego but some thoughts originate from consciousness itself since consciousness also thinks. Can you please share your experience with regard to this.
Also, what is the relation of thoughts to the vibrations that we put out. Do they affect our vibrations and are they the only factor that affect them. Coz many people believe that if you have negative thoughts it affects your vibrations (the vibes we send out) and since vibrations are energy it is picked up by others and how they react to us. Wanted to understand whether it is such a direct correlation. It seems that we could still have negative thoughts about a particular situation pop up strong enough for us to be caught up in it even when we have worked through a good part of the underlying beliefs that we hold towards a situations or person.
Another thing is that being afraid of negative thoughts in the fear that having them will bring such events to pass keeps such thoughts circulating and then we get caught in this loop.
Request you to please throw some light on these.
Thanks!
Hi Sanjay
Thoughts arise for a number of reasons. A big one is simply background processing of experiences. But if we’re resisting them, they cycle over and over. I made a list here:
https://davidya.ca/2019/11/09/what-is-mind-2/
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But yes, activity on one level causes activity in another. So physical processing creates mental processing and consciousness moving creates thoughts, etc.
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Our “vibrations” are basically our emotional and feeling state. Our energy. As above, emotional activity creates mental activity.
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How we feel is our vibes. It’s not a different thing. Even if we resist how we feel, that feeling is still there creating vibes. It’s better to process and heal. That settles everything down in time.
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When we settle, it all settles.
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Negative thoughts usually indicate unresolved emotional content. Some trash to be taken out. I explored that on the next post.
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And sure, we can have negative thoughts crop up even when we’re deeply healed. But as we work through our stuff, the tendency to get caught up or overshadowed gets less and less. Eventually, they just arise and clear like steam.
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If there is still reactivity around a person or situation, there is emotional content to be resolved. Remember – emotions are the energy that drives thoughts and action. It’s healing emotionally that completes the drama and settles the mind. Then we can be neutral about them. (We may still think poorly of them but are no longer driven by it.)
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The mind also has its habits and beliefs that don’t serve well. Those are more easily seen through and discarded when there isn’t an emotional charge behind them.
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Fear of having negative thoughts is resistance to experiencing them. Perhaps we feel badly they arise or we find them unpleasant. But until we face them, they’ll keep coming back. They’re seeking resolution.
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Our personal thoughts don’t make external events happen. They’re not powerful enough as we don’t have the creative power of the universe behind them – often just our unresolved emotions. But they can drive us to act in ways that creates consequences.
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That loop is the wheel of karma, cycling over and over again as we resist experiences and leave them incomplete, sometimes adding to the pile in the process with another layer of charge and suppression.
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Much better to learn to wind the wheel down. It takes some time and practice but quality of life will gradually improve and we’re helping prepare the ground for awakening.
Thank you David for explaining this in much detail. Just one other thing with regards to this. So, if our personal thoughts do not have the creative power of the universe behind them and hence, can’t make external events happen then what does this mean as far as the topic of the law of attraction is concerned. Is it then that our emotions and feelings affect what we attract. Are these positive/negative vibes (gratitude/worry etc) powerful enough and are they the only determining factor. But, many intense thoughts themselves are based on emotional charge (maybe unresolved) as you have noted. I know you talk about the power of gratitude in your other posts and how it can affect our lives positively.
Have also come across teachings which say that life being inherently postive does not support the negative.
Depending on how we look at it, the law of attraction when taken too far might seem like a lot “me”/ego based stuff. Atleast, when there is a lot of expectation tied to its outcome being a certain way. Also, it might not be coherent with say the pre-birth plan agreements made by our higher selves in that our higher self agreed to a certain life path in this life and we are now trying to override it based on the lower self/”me”.
Good questions, Sanjay.
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The issue with thoughts is they’re mostly pretty scattered. We think “I’d like a new car” and then we doubt it or we debate which model or we drift into a different topic, etc. Most of that gets dissipated.
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Law of Attraction is more energetic – what we give our emotional attention to. That creates our “vibes” and what we attract energetically. In that sense it’s very valid. But this ignores karma and the above. It’s much more potent if we’re relatively clear in that life arena so we can sustain a fairly positive flow.
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And yes, in it’s popular form it’s all about me and what I want. When done properly it’s in respect of the needs of the whole. We work with nature to get natures support.
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Thoughts can have a strong negative charge but if they’re rising to be released, this is a positive movement. That’s not a creative flow, it’s a dissolution flow. On the flip side, if we resist that flow or dwell in it, then we change it’s influence and it can shift our “vibe” or energetic tone and what we’re attracting.
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Note that attraction isn’t just about things. More valuable is attracting laws of nature that like our energy and can support us. Then life gets smoother, we more routinely achieve goals, and so forth. It can be very practical.
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Positive and negative are how we’re responding to life. There will always be things we’d prefer not to experience. But if we can be OK with life it is a lot smoother.
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Light and dark is a bit different but somewhat the same. For there to be form and experiences, we need some dark. The key is balance and by that I mean mostly light. 🙂 So you don’t want to deny darkness but not favour it either.
Hi David & co, thanks for the post and discussion.
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Do you think you could share more on: “When done properly it’s in respect of the needs of the whole. We work with nature to get natures support.”
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I am not v familiar with the law of attraction but remember having once ‘asked’ for money for our family. The very next day or two I got two offers for work. I remember being quite taken aback as the work/money was not in line with where life was otherwise flowing (so I declined) but I feel I got a real reminder around the importance of discernment re what one wishes for or places attention on (and on what level). So I’ve stuck with Thy will be done and being an instrument of the Divine 🙂 tx
Hi Oskari
To the first sentence, it’s simple. When we’re ego identified we naturally think in terms of me. What I want out of this. The more we associate with our universal nature, the more the perspective shifts to the whole. What’s best for all.
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The latter is the perspective of nature, always acting for the whole. The more we’re in sync with wholeness, the more our actions support nature and thus nature supports us.
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Some are more conscious of the actual mechanics of nature and can see this in action. Others simply experience life being smoother and actions more effective.
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Law of Attraction is similar to ‘what you put your attention on grows.’ A lot of people dwell on what they don’t want which cultures more of the same. By dwelling more on where you’re going we support growth. But some of that is co-opted by me me me.
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And yes, theres the old joke about picturing a pink Cadillac in the driveway. They end up losing the house. Later, they swing by the old place and theres the pink Cadillac in the driveway…
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It is important to be specific. But it’s even more important to be open to where life is prodding you. I ended up in the Masters program when that wasn’t even on the radar. But I followed the prompts and walked right into it.
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In some ways, LoA can be a shift from dwelling in the past to dwelling in the future. Thats an upgrade, but being here now is even better. Or as you put it, Thy will be done. 🙂
Thanks David. Very helpful framing 🙂
Going a bit off topic here 🙂 but I cannot help but notice somewhat similar principles being reflected in different therapeutic modalities re
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“In some ways, LoA can be a shift from dwelling in the past to dwelling in the future. Thats an upgrade, but being here now is even better. Or as you put it, Thy will be done. “.
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You could say that psychodynamic is about the past or ‘there and then’, while, say, cognitive behavioural therapy focuses on changing (‘upgrading’) unhelpful thinking and behaviour; and humanistic about ‘here and now’. The clearer we become the more, I feel, we can be in and make use of the latter.
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Each have their (again not dissimilar to spiritual practices) criticisms (eg reinforcing a trauma/ the past in psychodynamic, not addressing the underlying issues in cbt; and reliance on the person’s readiness to change or ineffectiveness in severe cases, etc) yet like many spiritual practices they have their place depending on where people are at. And if used skillfully, I feel, each can all serve as entry points for deep healing and easing evolution. In reality in both it’s often a bit of a mix.
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Anyway, just a thought that cropped up and felt like blurting it out 🙂
Hi Oskari
Thanks for sharing. I don’t have the expertise to comment much but do agree there is value in therapy. For someone on a spiritual path, it can be preferable to find a spiritually-oriented therapist so they understand other forms of healing that may arise (and not pathologize them).
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I mention a few on my Recommended page.
Hi David,
“Fear of having negative thoughts is resistance to experiencing them. Perhaps we feel badly they arise or we find them unpleasant. But until we face them, they’ll keep coming back. They’re seeking resolution.”
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I feel the popular new age teachings of LoA inevitably add another layer of fear to experiencing fear, and too the negative thoughts the fear-charges produce, with the positive-thought-only bias that, if we allow in that fear or negativity, we’ll attract what it is we are fearing.
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I think I know the answer to this, but for clarification, could you speak to the difference between experiencing the negative thoughts and their underlying charges in the process of healing and release, and the alternative; putting your attention into the fear so that it grows. I presume the latter is dwelling in the thoughts the fear-charge is producing and not giving innocent attention to the charge itself. Thank you.
Hi Phil
Like anything, it depends on how we are with them. For example, I’ve seen Family Constellations used beautifully and effectively. But I’ve also seen it used to validate and make more solid trauma and victimhood. They felt validated, but as a victim…
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LoA is the same in that sense – it can be use to enable entitlement and self-importance but it can also be used to validate worth. But yes, I do see a lot of shadow denial in that arena.
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There’s a few ways to look at it but essentially in healing we’re simply experiencing what is arising, not fighting it but allowing it to be there and be experienced. Then it can complete and resolve. In the other case, it’s going into the fear or other trauma and making it mine a la LoA or the example I mentioned above. The experience overshadows and we fall into it rather than simply allowing it to be there. We take it personally.
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It’s the difference between going to a play and watching and being in the play and lost in it.
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Some value of presence or witness consciousness is very valuable for this. And as I’ve mentioned, samadhi or transcendence is valuable for culturing that.
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Note that we’ll have some areas of life that are more conscious and easier to let go in and other ares of life that feel more personal or stuck. This is normal. It’s much easier to heal in areas of the first. 🙂
Thanks David,
Obviously we are living in a time when there is much surfacing, much of which is fear rising to be resolved. It’s good to be clear on how allowing-attention heals, in contrast to giving attention to the mind-contents and then getting lost in it, which then grows the problem.
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Certain teachers I find, don’t make a clear enough distinction. Such as Tolle in his recent videos in response to the global crisis. Warning not to give attention to the fear in one video and then teaching how to attentively be with the fear in another. For those more experienced, it may be obvious he’s telling you not to go getting lost in the fear-projection-story and then rather teaching how to be with the arising fear-charge, but for some, I think, it’s not clear enough, adding to fearing the fear.
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Lately here, when open-allowing, arising charges and knots result in the body shaking, twitching and vibrating away. I pull involuntary facial expressions as energy seems stuck, trying to move in my jaw. I’m told it looks very funny (laughs). I guess it’s just stuff trying to move it’s way through and complete. Thankfully, the movements stop as soon as I divert my attention elsewhere. Oh what Purification fun! 🙂
Hi Phil – yes, well put.
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And yes, the kriyas that can be created from purification can be a little odd sometimes. But it indicates a deep allowing is taking place. The healing is going deep and we’re not trying to “keep face” in a role or some such.
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Some teachers actually discourage such things…
Thanks David!
As you have mentioned in this and your other articles, karma is the blindspot which many of the law of attraction teachings overlook wherein fact our actions in the past (lifetimes even) might have created energetic knots and might have attracted like forces and would have impelled us to create further actions driven by our karmic imprint and thus influencing our energetic vibes further and that keeps the loop continuing. The great Padmasambhava is quoted as saying:
“My realization is higher than the sky,
But my observance of karma is finer than a grain of barley flour”
Also, as you mentioned, I think I recollect Auronindo having said that karma itself is an instrument that the soul employs in its journey towards its evolution. So, in such a case it seems there is free-will of our higher self. And, this ties into what you said then that for evolution there needs to be both the dark and light. The dark is necessary for consciousness to shine its light and ultimately, for resolution of the situation. There is also the question of free-will and pre-determination. While some may go with a binary belief of one or the other, I guess as you have mentioned it is more intertwined. Some teachings probably emphasize that we have free-will within pre-determination so that we are free to make certain choices but others events are pre-determined by our karma and also, by what the whole wants to get done through each of us and what is necessary in our journey. There are also some other viewpoints that say that there is pre-determination within free-will like the aforementioned observation attributed to Aurobindo so that once the higher self decides on a certain life path for its evolution then certain things seems to be pre-determined. Kind of remember reading an interview where Ramana Maharishi is quoted as saying that all actions even what we might think as insignificant ones are pre-determined and that the only free-will we have is to work towards enlightenment.
Another thing about karma is where I heard someone define it as a limiting force in one’s consciousness. So, if that is the case then as you mention we start to doubt what we desire due to the karmic foliage in our consciousness and that could be a kind of blocker in manifesting it.
New age positive thinking from which most likely the law of attraction borrows much seems to deny the existence of the reality of that which is to be overcome. Not putting much attention on a present condition or circumstance to be overcome and focussing on a better condition that we want is one thing but wanting to deny the reality of something that exists is probably one reason for another layer of fear to be added by such teachings. Vedanta, on the other hand, does not deny the reality of the world but looks at it as a relative existence (maya, unreal or illusion). Maybe, to overcome the fear that a negative situation will come to pass if we have negative thoughts, it would be helpful to understand that life is ever impelling us towards evolving to our highest good and truth and in that sense is always supporting the positive. There is some information in here – https://www.mountainrunnerdoc.com/articles/article/2291157/73822.htm – on the influence of Vedanta on the new age positive thinking philosophies. Also, from the website is where the quote attributed to Padmasambhava is mentioned.
This thing about the law of attraction also raises the question of magic. Usually, employing magical techniques to get what one wants is not looked at favorably in some teachings especially if that involves impinging on somebody’s free-will. In that sense, employing the law of attraction in service of what the “me” needs could also be looked through a similar lens. I guess we could argue that if one is not energetically resonant or in other words does not actually raise their energy to the level of the thing they want to attract then they will find it difficult to keep it together for long. On the other hand though we could also argue that we are performing magic all the time due to the kind of influence we consciously or unconsciously have due to the vibes we put out.
Ultimately, as you note, there has to balance between what the egoic “me” wants and what the whole wants for all of us, we”. Maybe, that balance is ultimately maintained by the whole itself.
Hi Sanjay
To be clear, karma is action. When we resist unfolding action, it can create unresolved energy. That can cast shadows, creating a blind spot.
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Law of attraction teachings generally recognize that if you put your attention on something, it will grow. But yes, they can miss karma. And get totally focused on kama, desire.
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Free will and pre-determination are perspectives. Free will in the past, for example, creates consequences in the present that we experience as pre-determined. Free will of the higher self is experienced likewise by the ego-self. Different stages see one or the other more dominant. And so on.
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Broadly, the perspective i find most useful is that we choose a path through life. That feels determined when we’re in it. Yet within that we have choice. But that choice is constrained by the road we’re on. We can stay on the pavement, drift onto the shoulder, and even move into the ditch. But we can’t really leave the road as our very life is structured around it.
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Karma is not a limiting force. What is limiting us is the unresolved karma (action) as it clouds the system and plugs up channels.
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Actually law of attraction predates New Age. It goes back to New Thought and the Transcendentalists as I recall. And that spun off of Vedanta. But a more watered down version became popular more recently.
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And yes, even advanced spiritual practices can be co-opted by a desire to escape life.
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Real magic (vs illusion) is more energetic but yes, is a hazardous path. The story of Milarepa is an example:
https://davidya.ca/2015/11/16/chasing-demons/
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Exactly. By restoring wholeness in enough people, the whole comes into balance. Then everyone within that is supported and doesn’t need to act against another.
Thanks David for your insight into this complex topic.