I’ve mentioned before how we’re a blend of bloodline and past lives. The Vedas call this Shadbhava or 6 houses, 3 of each.
Our body is tuned by the blended DNA of our parents composition, roughly half and half. Our parents’ DNA comes down through a long line of adaptations. The Y-chromosome carries the male line, and the mitochondria carries the matrilineal DNA. Our cells contain the learning of many, many generations.

When the soul enters that body, you then have the emphasis of the souls experience and its dominant laws influencing the DNA and the growth and development of the child. The result is a synthesis and attempted balance of the bloodline and the souls path.
There is profound intelligence in how we’re placed. We could say a sync between the karma we need to resolve and the body and family we’re given. But I’ve also seen odds over who gets a body as there can be competition for decent placements.
The soul brings in a “life plan” including a batch of karma to work though. This new lesson plan plus the new body means our experience of this life will differ greatly from prior lives. We can think of it a little like changing school each time we change grades. The body, the parameters, the perception, the people around us – it will all be different. And we have to get to know this new body.
I’ve met people I knew in prior lives and initially made the mistake of assuming they were the same person. They’re not. Same soul but different laws and karmic emphasis and different filters on reality. While there can be a strong sense of connection, you have a new relationship to develop similar to any other. And just because you feel a connection doesn’t mean you’re destined to marry. There are many reasons life will draw people together.
Davidya
Last Updated on September 20, 2023 by Davidya
Beautiful.Thank you for addressing this cosmically nagging question, and in such a detailed way, Sri David.
The competition for an incarnation makes sense. A wonderful area to illuminate! Yes, we are eternal – get used to Infinity, people. The saints are hungry, and the time is right. (laughs)
Yeah, we had a soul that wanted to join our family as a daughter but we had 2 sons. I met “her” later.
It is primarily karma seeking resolution that drives us into certain kinds of lives. If we can resolve that other ways, we can clear some of the need for the trenches. 🙂
Very interesting that you mention this. My younger brother died young in 1988, at 32. We were very close. Then in 1990, my daughter was born. Also very close. They have similarities, though samyama says they aren’t the same soul.
Yes, wholeheartedly agree! I’ve been clearing them out, lifetimes that is, since birth, by various means, with transcendental meditation being the most effective for complete resolutions of whatever mountains of karma followed me in. Pretty much down to dust bunnies now. 🙂
Yes, my second son had a strong karmic role from my last life. Even more so with his mother.
Right. As the platform clears, we’re left with the most hidden and the “sprouted seeds” that are already flowering. The latter creates some momentum of the past but that too gradually clears as we become much more effective at facilitating. So much can be cleared by just allowing the energy. Then it doesn’t have to show up in life events. But theres always some that needs to work itself out in the world, likely because we’re not alone in the project of life. 🙂
From what i understand, people come in to work out certain karma. When it’s done, we usually come to an exit plan. Some come in for very short periods. For someone to step into a family like that, it would need to sync with everyone else, to be a fit of some sort.
Those sorts of dynamics can be very complex as karma isn’t always 1-to-1. In other words, you can’t just say X happened because of Y. Sometimes X/2 happened because of Y/3 + N/5 in life 732 and R/15 from life 591. Then there will be other formulae from other parties involved. They combine is a kind of 3D energetic balancing to structure the fructification of events.
Thank you. Yes, well said – “3D energetic balancing”.
Yes, couldn’t agree more with needing to work out our intertwined lives in the world. Action is the most efficient way for integrating silence, and destroying illusions.
However with a regular practice of transcending, there is no need to act out the scars of past trauma, or chase an outer dream.
If we leave it up to the Divine, not only is all resolved quite beautifully, all of our needs are taken care of, regardless of initial circumstance.
Okay – I had very difficult parents. One of them deeply abusive. I am not like that – have my flaws but not abusive at all to my child – infact I try to be a good parent. So saying that I am a blend of my parents DNA is depressing. How about those situations when you don’t fit at all into your birth family? I guess then it is karma seeking resolution. Oh well. This whole thing is elaborate and mysterious even though I understand the mechanics of this, I do nto understand the “why”. Why go to all this elaborate unfolding?
Hi K
Saying you’re a blend of your parents DNA means your physical body is built from a blend of protein programs from your parents that they got from theirs, going way back. If your body is healthy, thats a good thing.
Overlaid on that is their behaviour and energy modeling we were exposed to when young. And inherited patterns that can be passed down in families.
If you’ve moved beyond the latter, then you’re doing well. But if the topic still upsets you, there’s still things to heal about that. This isn’t about them – it’s about you and what you’re carrying.
There are a gazillion reasons why we may choose a family. To learn how not to, to resolve some old debt, availability, something else they may bring to the table for us, and so on. Generally, the karma in play casts a shadow so the benefit and intelligence isn’t clear and we instead see just the issues. But in the long view retrospectively, we gain some perspective.
I’m reminded of my job some years back. I achieved a great deal but there was some outrageous karma that unfolded as well. It makes sense now but at the time it threatened my health, my career, my marriage, and even my life. But I came out the other end stronger, without the burden of the past, and more integrated. It also became clear how much of a hand my own attitude had had on it. I was rebalancing what I had been off.
The elaboration is because of the detail. To be resolved it has to be experienced in some way – in life, energetically, or whatever. Our current life experience is the leading edge of a wave of energy that has thousands of years of influences in play. Because it is so comprehensive it seems overly complex.
Amusingly though, its actually even more complex. But we’re not built to be able to experience enough of it at once to comprehend it. But every so often, we get a glimpse and realize how profoundly orchestrated it all is.
Grumbling about our lot and our past is missing the point and perpetuating it. 🙂
Yes yes, profoundly orchestrated it is. The husband that helps clarify the issues with the father, the best girlfriend that takes one deep into the mother wound. So much gets integrated and healed as one’s life unfolds. Thanks for this interesting topic, Davidya.
Thanks for commenting, Sabrina.
I’d like if you could explain more about competition for incarnation and getting a decent placement. Also how do you perceive this? Is a knowing that comes to you or perhaps a vision? Thanks!
Hi Erin
Well – the competition would probably be for a family of yogis or the wealthy or some such. Desirable lives for making progress or for comfort or whatever. (People apparently sometimes take “holiday” lives to enjoy good karma.)
For me, it’s experienced. In my own family, I had 2 sons. But there was a soul wanting to come in as a girl that lost out to each of the boys. We had a beautiful meeting a few years later as she had chosen to support the family anyway. Later, she moved on to another opportunity.
Due to difficult life circumstances, I began recalling prior lives in the 80’s. Very gradually over time, I’ve become aware of other details and beings involved.
As an example, every so often, someone shows up in my life for which there is a strong sense of connection and familiarity. Over time, past life memories arise about this. I don’t seek them, they just come up by association.
So there is a knowing, memories, and even sometimes bigger picture stuff you might call visions. It’s just part of the landscape of life here.
Fascinating. Thank you!
Could you speak a little bit on how she ‘lost out’ to the boys.
As in is it because the family’s trajectory was better supported by boys Or the souls of the boys were more powerful and karmically more entitled.
I am also curious to hear more about how she stayed on to support the family.
Does this mean families have angels and spirit guides ’assigned’ to them.
I have been sensing a soul (could be 2) hanging around outside of my team that I intuited as wanting to come into our family.
Recently my spiritual teacher suggested us not have anymore children at the moment because of the stage I am in my spiritual journey. The souls are still very much around though. So this subject is so very intriguing to me.
Hi Amrima
First thing to note is this isn’t about gender. Souls don’t have a gender but we do tend to favour one or the other for various reasons like karma.
She had a strong desire to be with us but the boys had a higher priority. That would be a combination of factors like karma, dharma, etc but mainly around what would best serve the whole. That works out to be the best for the individual even if our desires differ a bit as we don’t have the bigger picture.
We’re often not reborn directly but spend some time on the “other side.” Guides, for example, are humans between lives. A friend of mine died with unresolved anger issues. She then took a role helping people with their anger, partly as a learning.
Some work in a more general way and some spend their time with specific people. Another friend spent some time with a group of people he had hurt by his departure. In our case, she simply spent time with us, supporting what she could. She was a very loving presence.
So yes, we have a guardian and one or more guides. Many also have omnipresent beings as part of their support group, such as a sage or archangel, a connection made in a prior life. And we get others assigned during specific periods. And we have a ton who work to support the life and the structuring of events. Our life is a busy place. (laughs)
This stuff happens in the background. It’s not managed by you and it’s not been my experience that permission is required.
This is where knowing the difference between astral and celestial beings is useful. You don’t want to let in someone whos a predator or simply likes the vibe and wants to hang out. Its not about appearances but feel.
There can also be beings who are simply observers, perhaps learning by watching. They don’t need “in”.
(laughs) motherhood is a profoundly spiritual process if we allow it to be. My experience has been that if its time, it will happen. My second son was unplanned. On the other hand, it is a huge commitment and it can be nice to have a little time for introspection – something young children rarely allow.
Just be careful of any monkish inclinations here. Its clearly not your path.
It can also be useful to get a jyotish perspective on the topic, assuming you have an accurate birth time. (it can be rectified)
Thank you. Yes what ever best for the whole. It is the current mantra :).
I always knew that there had to be some explanation. Thank you for this post as I needed it at this point in life. My question is as follows: I have wronged a person in past and caused intense suffering. I feel guilty as the person is still suffering. It is easy for me to say that it was all planned for the betterment of both of us and that it was all destined, but when I look at the suffering that is still present, I am helpless. I had once read somewhere that the does suffers more than the victim and am able to relate to that. How do we reconcile the explanation when the rubber meets the road?
Hi Sandesh
I would say the doer may suffer more but it depends on each persons skill at healing or letting go.
Considering it, there are 4 aspects.
– there is what happened.
– there is how you have responded to what happened.
– there is how they responded to what happened.
– there is the connection between the 2 of you energetically.
There is nothing you can do to change the past. And there is nothing you can do for them to resolve how they are about it. That is their responsibility. Trying to fix it for them will fail and may make it worse for them.
What you can work on is resolving how you are feeling about it. This will resolve it energetically for you and it will also resolve the connection you have to them with it.
This doesn’t mean condone what you have done but forgive it. Let it go emotionally. This is the best thing you can do to heal both of you as you’re no longer supporting the suffering. If they choose to continue carrying it, that is their karma. You can’t make that yours.
This takes practice to develop skill. Transcendence is certainly valuable. And for big stuff, you may find Byron Katie’s The Work or Hoʻoponopono useful. The first focuses on getting outside the stories we’re telling ourselves about it, the second on forgiveness.
This answer a little more elaborated can be its own article. I have been working on a similar senerio. It helps so much to see this in writing.
Hi Amrima
You’re right! After I wrote it, I realized the same and have started a variation on the recent Responsibility article. I can link related stuff too, like whos problem is it.
A mind likes to have the answers and tends to see things in black and white, right and wrong. Often, we judge ourselves the most harshly. Ironically, this is because ego feels more in control then…
Re: Sandesh’s post: I also feel that there is a time course to the suffering and I speak from the view point of the suffering of the one who has done the unskilled act. (As I get older, I see more and more as skilled vs. unskilled acts rather than good vs. bad. I am plenty unskilled :-)). There is a verse in Rig Veda or somewhere which says “Just as the intense fire of the furnace purifies gold, so does suffering purify the soul to replendance”. I am not advocating mortification, hairshirts and such – just that – there is suffering assoicated with genuine regret – and it is the starting point. Once it runs its course, we seek out a means to end suffering – like asking Davidya, for instance :-).
Hi K
There is a process whereby we shift from suffering to growing through suffering. But at a certain point, we move beyond that and suffering falls away.
This isn’t to suggest pain and challenges end. Only that our attitude towards them changes and the need for a lot of it does end. Suffering certainly has a way of motivating us though.
Some philosophies feel suffering is necessary. I no longer do but it remains a fact of life for the majority.
On translations, I’d be careful. A lot of texts have been translated from that context, like translating tapas as austerities. In this instance, it wouldn’t surprise me at all if the second part would be something like ‘so does the fires of transformation purify the us to resplendence.’
Note that the soul itself doesn’t need to be purified – just the stuff we’ve laid over it. 🙂
I take knowledge from you. Jai Guru Dev. 🙂 I was told by another devoted follower of MMY that … how do I say this?… I guess as people rise in (?) returning to more enlightened Yugas (and or higher states of consciousness) the DNA can add strands? 2 strands to – I read – 4, 8, 12 strands? and that physiology will have some other organs or something. life expectancy of 100,000 years. I’m not trying to be silly here. I’m just asking since you brought up DNA. Thank you.
Hi Carl
I’ve heard people talk of adding new DNA strands but I’ve never seen any evidence of that. And its wildly inconsistent what people say about it.
However, there are what are called morpho groups. These are proteins that lock the covers on some of the DNA, preventing some proteins from being expressed. These can be created by various things and can be passed down in the blood line.
These can be cleared via energy healing, opening up the full potential of our physiology. Thus the experience here is we already have everything we need. We just need to cleanse the barriers to expression and we can blossom in ways that would currently be considered impossible. This does take time though as the physical is the slowest to shift and we don’t want to traumatize it.
I’m dubious anyone could live that long in a single physical body. Certainly in a light body. In higher ages, it’s common to live hundreds of years. That seems the more reasonable expectation. 🙂
Keep in mind that you as a soul have been around vastly longer than your body. Those memories are available also. ie: you already have lived that long. 🙂
Touche. Actually I think that was my last big grumble. Because, I started thanking my mother during my prayers shortly after this spontaneously.(she was deeply abusive when I was a child and still capable of being difficult) I Say – she gave me what she could and I feel grateful for that.One thing I realized is that gratitude does not seem to be a practice (like working out or exercising every day). It seems to arise spontaneously. Am I right on the last point or should I do it as a exercise if it does not arise spontaneously?
Hi K
Right. I was raised by a single mom. She was anything but easy but her life was very challenging. I’m deeply grateful for what she did manage.
Yes, it’s a curious thing. “Practicing” gratitude can just be a mind game or a mood making. Gratitude can arise spontaneously also. And it can be favoured here and there. But the latter does require that capacity. Otherwise its fake…
In the year before I woke up, I used to carry a small smooth rock around in my pocket with my keys. When I noticed it during the day and in the morning and evening when I stocked my pockets, I made it a practice to think of something else i was grateful for. If it didn’t come easily, I didn’t push it. But in time, it raised the tone of my regular mood and helped pave the way for the shift.
Of course, everyone is different but i found this useful.
Yes, I have always enjoyed prayers for thanks, before meals, as the day begins, and as spontaneous expressions throughout the day, evening and night. Just a few moments of expressing gratitude. As you say, raises the tone of everything. Thank you for bringing this up, pun intended! 🙂
🙂
What a fascinating comment thread 🙂
Regarding your answer to the question on competition for incarnation and getting a decent placement.
“the competition would probably be for a family of yogis or the wealthy or some such. Desirable lives for making progress”
In this case why is it that you often see souls born into a family of yogis who seem to have no interest in a spiritual path or meditation practice for example? At the same time you often see people who are born into relatively ‘normal’ families that have a very strong spiritual inclination even at an early age.
This leaves me thinking, why were the souls who seem to want to live purely relative lives with no spiritual component born into a family of yogis, especially if those placements are highly sought after?
Hi G
Right, and the addict born to a police officer, etc. We can all think of black sheep. That gets into the complexities of karma. Keep in mind it’s unfolding from a much larger perspective than the specifics of this life. There may not be spiritual sync but there may be other things that need to be worked out.
In the example i mention, the daughter was more spiritually oriented but other dynamics ended up taking precedence.
In my own family, my mother and I did not share spiritual paths but there was a lot for us to work out together. She unintentionally supported the spiritual progress here.
I’ve also seen examples where the children were further along spiritually and had no interest in the approach of their parents. What they needed was the integration of relative life.
Things are not always what they seem on the surface.
Right, makes sense. Thank you 🙂
“I’ve also seen examples where the children were further along spiritually and had no interest in the approach of their parents. What they needed was the integration of relative life.”
This hits home regarding my daughter. A very wise and grounded soul, who is far more intent on being of service than [also] following a spiritual development routine like her dad does. As you say, she thrives on the integration.
Also, your note about your mother, “She unintentionally supported the spiritual progress here.”
Well said! Same here. Along with growing up in various countries, the stoic nature of my mother meant that it was, “Hello World!” from a very young age.
I recognized my sole responsibility for my well-being early on, leading to the inevitable dive within. So on balance, what was the problem? (laughs)
A great thread. Thank you.
I ran into an interesting example for this discussion thread. Here Dorothy talks about what the baby of a miscarriage taught her.
http://distanceenergywork.blogspot.com/2015/10/using-anger-as-tool-for-emotional.html
When the pregnancy is far enough along, the soul has become “associated”. This example also assumes a willingness to see the gift of what might otherwise be only seen as a trauma.