On the recent Fear post, Uzma asked about allowing vs going into fear. It seemed useful to share the response and go into it a bit more.
Many in fields such as psychology advocate going into your experience to release the pain. While this can help, the problem is that it is also going into your story and can be traumatic in itself. Going into your story can amplify it and make it more real. You’ve probably heard stories of issues created when people dug too much into their muck. The medicine can sometimes be worse than the disease.
The key thing to understand is that there is emotions and then there is our stories about those emotions. As we step out of the story, our relationship with feelings changes completely.
In the story:
“That guy hurt me badly by such and such, etc etc.”
Big long story, oft repeated. Suffering and drama, pain, blame.
In ego, the me:
“I am hurt”
Still taking it personally, so some suffering remains but without the drama.
Which is now only briefly and with little or no suffering.
In the open heart:
All is an aspect of love and happiness.
How far down this list we go depends on the clarity we have at the time. Presence becomes normal after Self realization and an Open Heart as that matures. This is why awakening is described as the end of suffering.
At first, the story and emotions can seem inextricably entwined. They seem one and the same. But if we culture allowing what is, as it is, we find moments when the emotions will arise and we can simply be with them, without the added story. Or maybe the story is there but we pay it less heed. We simply experience what arises.
This ‘being with what is’ lets the resisted emotions wash over us and resolve. It’s usually very quick. With the emotion no longer present, the story is no longer energized and dissolves. Once we see it, it’s easy and fast. We dump eons of baggage in moments.
Mind thinks it needs to DO something. But what it needs to learn is to allow. To just let it be. Be aware, yes. Because awareness is seeing, stories is illusion.
If you look under “Key Posts” on the right, there is links to other posts on this subject under “Clearing”. Culturing Gratitude was huge for me around this.
You can go into the story to heal, but it’s much more difficult. This way is faster and easier, but a bit more subtle, a bit less obvious at first.
This process also makes it very clear how the story exists only because of the resisted feelings. This helps make the mechanics of illusion clearer and is also removing the foundation of ego. That of course opens the way for awakenings. Thus – its not just about lightening the load but turning the load into light (laughs)
Be aware of unity if it is your experience. Or aware of presence or being aware. Or gratitude for what is – anything that draws you into the present. That’s what’s real, what dissolves illusion, and what makes things happen. Everything else is memory or projection, the story, the drama.
Mind likes to understand, likes to have a story. But mind is fooled by illusions, caught be stories. Stories don’t make sense, which confuses mind. Mind concludes the world is irrational when it’s just seeing its own stories, not reality. Moving into the present shifts us out of mind, out of stories, out of memories and projections, past and future. Into what is.
Work on love? One does not work on feeling love. Love is. One feels it or does not. But one can give attention to allowing love. Then love will begin to be seen more and more, even in what has seemed to be pain.
You may enjoy Takuins recent post on Grief.