No Control

No Control

In the post Desire and Control, I spoke of the idea that we have to let go of our drive to hold and resist, let go of control.

Does no control mean out of control? No, this is being controlled by base emotions. No control means no me, no ego trying to take charge. Out of control is ego thinking it’s in control.

The best example I can think of is a dog. A dog is a pack animal. It needs a leader. If it doesn’t feel a sense of leadership or family, it feels it must take charge. But how is a dog supposed to know the rules of a human world? The result is a dog that “behaves badly”.

The ego is much the same. When the person looses touch with it’s source, it feels alone and that it must take charge. It tries to ‘figure it out’ and creates a story and tries to control circumstances to meet the story. Just as a dog can be like a “fish out of water”, so too is a person with an ego in charge. Living a strange little story.

Curiously, when a person begins to reconnect with their source, they often have become so used to being ‘in charge’ that they resist letting go. They fear being lost in this bigger reality, forgetting they are that.

What then does no control look like?

It is standing in the source of all life, all intelligence, all creativity. It is being home. It is safety. It is inspiration. It is intuition. It is allowing life to unfold as it is and discovering brilliant perfection. It is letting the fullness of being move through you.

Everything is just fine. It is only the ego who sees it otherwise. Of course, this may seem preposterous. “Look at the news!” you may say. Well, much of the news is a list of ego behavior and it’s dramas. Who thinks they’re in control? Who wants to be in control? Who is killing to be in control? It’s like a bunch of brats in a schoolyard. Ego doesn’t grow up.

For me, a good example of no control is this writing. I don’t sit down and try to come up with ideas. I don’t plan next posts. I have no idea where this is going. The ideas simply arise. Or don’t. There is an impression, like a seed idea, unformed in the mind. Rather than trying to figure it out, I simply write it down. It flows out.

No voice in the head. No channeling. Just noticing. A gentle nudge. A light bulb. Sometimes, a really bright one.

Often, after I write a post, I read it over and think “That’s interesting – I didn’t know that.” The person didn’t think it up. I just need to stay out of the way and write.

This doesn’t mean it comes out fully formed. I’m no Mozart. But the core ideas are there, I just write them down then fill it out to explain. Any weaknesses in the writing are a weakness in the vehicle, my own ability to be in the flow and skill with words.

I find the same in my work with technology. Begin to move in the direction you need, take a step and see what comes up. Listen. Follow the hunch. Thrash and you go in loops, allow it to be what it is and you see it and the solution arises. It may even seem to solve itself. In a 24/7 service, this always got the servers back up. But I found I was unable to teach this to my staff.  I didn’t know how to document this “procedure.” (laughs)

Can you even imagine a relationship without control? Just being there or flowing to? Giving and receiving?

This is the flow. This is no control. No person doing anything. It just comes. Nothing else is real.
This does not mean nothing is done. Everything is done, it is simply done without an idea of controlling the outcome. It is done through, not by.

In control, you grasp and hold, trying to “keep it together”. In letting go, you gain everything.

What else is there?

Last Updated on April 10, 2014 by

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  1. Davidya

    Thanks, Nancee.
    It’s a curious thing how little we realize how much of our life is dominated by needs that arise from a drive to control. It’s like a house of cards.

    As I mentioned on the prior post, the discussion on Tom’s blog illustrates how unapparent that is, even for people well along on the path. We don’t see the story as we are in it. “All the world’s a stage. And all the men and women merely players.” as Shakespeare put it in As You Like It.

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  3. Nancee

    Hi David,

    In reading your new blog entries I ended up back here again… this time this stood out so clearly: They fear being lost in this bigger reality, forgetting they are that.

    I have been resisting the lack of boundaries… fearful of the ‘openness,’ not realizing (or remembering) that “they are that.”


  4. Davidya

    The key here is “I”. The ego fears being lost, not you. But as you are identified with the ego, it feels like I. Just notice who is having this fear and you may be able to step back into the observer, out of the ego.

    Thanks for the feedback, Nancee

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