When I talk about healing, I caution to be wary of our habit of trying to manage everything with the mind. While we can notice and name emotions with the mind, processing emotions has to happen with the emotional body.
Recently, I had a new insight into this topic. Essentially, for our contractions to be held in place, we have to believe in them. We have to feel we’re right to resist, that allowing the held experience to be experienced is unsafe or similar.
Further, this belief helps us hide contractions that have been rated unsafe, keeping them subconscious. Some of these contractions are collective, and our belief in them means we carry them too.
For example, we may believe that anger is unsafe. If we’re triggered that way, it’s immediately suppressed. But if that belief aligns with a collective belief, this reinforces us, and we can end up carrying that too. This is especially challenging for heavier emotions like shame and depression as they have more energetic weight.
Of course, this is a more subtle belief, on the level of our sense of should and must. If we could easily see the belief, it wouldn’t be doing its job of hiding. Yet we can see its effects.
It’s our identity that feels unsafe, so this is also entangled with these belief structures.
Healers often encourage knowing the root of our trauma. Not to relive and re-traumatize us, but to see the construct for what it is. A pain body or wounded part that the identity fears. This fear comes from aversion and not knowing how to process it.
But with the proper understanding of trauma, somatic, and energy healing, we no longer need to fear anything we’ve resisted. It may still take a bit of time to convince the body of this. It’s felt and carried our beliefs for so long.
Davidya
Last Updated on March 7, 2026 by Davidya
Hi David
I was recently trying to identify some of my core beliefs. I was surprised to discover how difficult this is.
I am not sure what I believe.
Hi Robert
This is partly because we may protect core beliefs by hiding them from awareness. Especially more somatic ones. Also, because some beliefs develop when we’re very young and precognitive. The cognitive mind can’t relate. They have to be felt. Further, there are beliefs I call shoulds and musts that are held rather than conceived. For example, “boys don’t cry.” We don’t think about it, but we resist any tendency towards it.
This stuff can be pretty subtle, yet it becomes obvious when we become aware of them. Yet ironically, we may not be able to get to them with the mind, even though they’re mental programs. They’re not stored in the conscious mind.
‘We have to feel we’re right to resist, that allowing the held experience to be experienced is unsafe or similar.‘ — I had to reread this line several times! thank you for the articulation David. My moon is in Scorpio and I recently read somewhere that ‘while they are excellent at articulating their emotional experiences, they may have trouble actually feeling them.’ Hehe! I hope you’re well
Hi Jenifer
Yes, the point can be a little abstract. Yet it’s a key point to recognize in our own dynamics. What triggers resistance for us? This is often a flag for unresolved experiences. And yes, articulating is an ability of the mind. Mind has an overview position of the emotions, so it can name and describe them. But mind can’t process emotions. That’s the emotional body’s job.
This is actually pretty common. When we don’t know how to process our emotions without getting caught up in them, we can learn to avoid them altogether. They still happen but get tuned out. Then we lose a lot of life’s richness.
A recent finding for me is that I have the belief that real growth (only) comes through challenges. I think this is partly why life never seems to quite get comfortable, as some deep part of me sees that as stagnation or counterproductive.
Especially, I’ve noticed when I consciously attempt to manifest a smooth day, the opposite seems to happen, as if that belief is fighting it even harder.
Of course now that I’ve become conscious of this pattern, there’s an opportunity to transform this.
My main way of shifting is often through an understanding, after which I have the pathway to shift energetically. I guess it can be the opposite way for some people? But anyway seeing the patterns and understanding them is pretty key for me.
Hi Olli
Yes, this is a common one. Life is a struggle. This is similar to “the artist has to suffer to create.” It’s easy to see confirming experiences and build up a certainty about it. But that can blind us to flow and ease.
The trouble is, many of us carry unresolved trauma that is cycling subconsciously, causing us to hesitate or resist opportunities. The narrative is just a surface symptom of what’s rumbling under the radar.
And yes, it feels safe to be right, even if that “right” is suffering. There can also be a bit of momentum from past patterns.
But as we settle deeper and heal, we begin to see how we’re supported, what a miracle our life is, and so forth. Our trust in life gradually builds. And then the old narratives are seen through and fall away.
We can’t get there by fighting the narratives – that just adds another layer of resistance. We get there by seeing through them, as you mentioned. I’ve found that’s effective when there’s an energetic shift with it, so the holding falls away. We may experience them as together or in either sequence, but in my experience, the narrative doesn’t let go completely until the energy driving it is resolved.
But it’s a huge step to be seeing it. Without that, it’s just part of the background noise, and it plays out automatically.
Yup. And I’m noticing a tendency to spiritualize every challenge and giving it more meaning than it sometimes has. Getting into the post-awakening healing process seems to build up this expectation that everything difficult is something that’s arising to be healed. Every difficult person or situation is seen as a reflection of your own karma or trauma, coming up to be released. Then there’s the pressure that if I don’t complete this situation in the best possible way, this lesson is not fulfilled.
And in this light, wanting a smoother life seems like giving up, almost regression. I definitely have fallen into this trap from time to time. I guess the lesson might be there, but it’s not always to directly deal with everything. Sometimes it just might be that you need to see what’s yours and what’s not. Maybe put in some healthy boundaries and not claim every difficult encounter as something that’s directly connected to your own evolution. Put that way, it even sounds a bit egoic, as if you’re so important that absolutely everything is about your personal growth.
And yeah about the energetic shift, for me it seems to come with an intuitive knowing or understanding. Rarely I feel a shift and then only later discover what it was about. It always feels like a deep instant understanding comes first and then the energy shifts. Or maybe it just happens all at once.
Hi Olli
Yes, I think that’s pretty typical. Mind is the narrative-maker and wants to explain everything, even when it’s not needed. It simplifies things into tidy boxes. This must be this lesson, etc.
In a sense, it’s all about evolution, but that’s more true collectively than personally.
And it’s a great sign when the knowing comes along for the ride. It makes this clearer but more deeply, this is the intelligence within all experiences becoming conscious. It’s the most subtle aspect. We can see how the mind narrative-making happens when this isn’t there.