Opening by ElPadawan
Opening by ElPadawan

One of the challenging things about a human life is that some transformations can take us through our most arduous experiences. As a teacher used to say, life’s challenges “polish the stone” and can ultimately be the most beneficial.

For many, the higher heart is closed and heavily defended. We suppress how we feel and avoid healing opportunities. The energy modelling we’ve gotten hasn’t been healthy, so we don’t know how to process emotions. We avoid feeling to avoid feeling bad. Yet ironically, that avoidance keeps us feeling bad because the hard emotions don’t go away unless they’re experienced.

Yet when they’re fully allowed, they can complete, the shadow resolved.

If you don’t think you have emotional baggage, how do you feel right now? Neutral is not a feeling. Are love, joy, and compassion common in your life? Does grief come naturally in the face of change? Do rising emotions express smoothly and resolve? Or do they shadow us for weeks?

Not to worry. It’s very normal to have unresolved past traumas. In fact, simply having a human life means we had unfinished business to deal with. That’s what drives us into a new life.

The trick is in how we are with life. We all have places of rigidity and resistance, places we don’t want to go. As life is here to be fully experienced, those places that are stiff must be softened so release can happen. If they’re quite stiff, life brings us more difficult experiences – difficult because they push against what we’re trying to hold on to or resist. That’s what needs to let go.

If we resist the process and try to hold on, we suffer. The emotions don’t resolve and will come back again.

If we’re clear enough to recognize what is taking place, we can favour letting go. Then further healing and opening can take place. We benefit from these experiences and grow.

Emotions then rise in our experiences and can be seen and completed. Our backlog gradually gets resolved. The heart, mind, and senses can open in ways we haven’t even dreamed of.

We may experience outward changes in this process, but the key changes are inner.

The rich qualities of love, compassion, and happiness can become our companions. This may not come easily. Love doesn’t stick around long if we turn to hate. Compassion is not a friend of judgment, nor is pessimism with happiness.

But if we do the work, our quality of life gradually improves. One day we realize how different the world is because we’ve changed how we’re experiencing it. And that is a joy indeed.

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  1. Tim Owens

    Newcomers to AA, struggling with the temptation to medicate their way through difficult emotional upheavals, are often told, “Sometimes you just need to hold still and hurt.”

    1. Good advice, TO. It can be difficult at first but as we get used to it, it gets easier. We may have to work through a fear of emotional pain. If we don’t, we continue to add to the shadow and pain but if we shift gears like this we begin the journey of healing.

  2. Tyler

    Very timely and a great (and needed) reminder. With continued meditation I am finding very subtle layers revealing themselves and then circling through my day to day life if not given the opportunity to complete/release, as though the opportunities for completion are following a pattern seeking release. Thank you for the gentle reminders at just the right time. Often your nudges really help me to continue my path, and not soldier on more intensively ha ha. Still trying to shake the intensive approach from my Buddhist training. Effortless meditation has been a very valuable practice and yet not so simple as I re-learn how to be gentle and effortless.

    Wishing you good health.

    Blessings and gratitude!!


    1. Hi Tyler
      Yes, there’s an art to being with whatever is releasing until it feels done, at least the part that’s come loose. If it’s a big one, it’s good to rest afterwards so the body has time to clear. If we jump up in the middle of it, it tends to shadow us through the day, partly done. No ideal but sometimes that can’t be avoided. When we have the time, it’s good to rest so it can resolve.

      Sometimes, the experiences of the day themselves are designed to trigger a release. Then it can be even more challenging to allow. Convenience isn’t a hallmark of healing.

      That said, there is a lot of support of nature taking place to allow the experience if we can cooperate with it.

      mmm, yes, learning effortless after learning intensity can be more challenging. But even those who started with effortless still have lifetimes of ego control to see through.

      Thanks – Blessings!

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