Recently, there have been waves of purification washing through the collective in greater frequency than usual. The current cycles of time call for healing. Life organized circumstances to turn many of us within and face some very old baggage. The collective is unsettled and fearful.
In one wave, when I sat with it, the label “lonely” came up. This resonated with some very old energy from childhood.
And yet, when I felt deeper into it, there was no emotion called “lonely.” That was a mind label. What was the actual emotion or energy?
I found it was fear. In fact, there were two flavours of fear associated.
The primary one was the fear of division. A fear of separation, alienation, or disconnection. “Loneliness” is fear from the perception of being apart or divided from.
This relates to the second chakra and our need to feel connected and a part of. And it related to our child self.
The degree of our sense of division varies. As Myers-Briggs suggests, extroverts gain energy by being with others. This makes social separation much more challenging. An introvert enjoys solo time more. Yet we all need some value of connection.
Connection though conflicts with the ego’s desire to feel safe and unseen. The ego identifies with our sense of being an individual and is afraid of being seen through. We adopt roles or masks to present like parent, partner, or boss. This is to fit in and to protect the ego itself. However, we then become immersed in the roles and confuse them with who we are. Actors can also experience this after they inhabit a role.
The fear of being seen through gets mixed up with the roles and we become protective of them too, even though they’re even more false.
Often, we strike a compromise: enough contact to feel connected but not so much that we see through our roles. We chose friends who play along with a mutual charade.
If we don’t like ourselves or our roles, we’re more likely to seek satisfaction in others or things. And yet, if we don’t feel worthy, we have trouble accepting what we need. It can all be a big self-imposed mess.
The second flavour of fear I found was a fear of emptiness or the void. Space is a quality of the throat chakra. The higher chakras are not known by the lower ones. When we’re identified with our local self, the mystery of our higher self can be fearful.
The heart also has a space but the fear there is of being hurt. That’s not a mystery, even if we shadow our emotions.
Fear of the void also relates to the fear of death, of transcendence, and of awakening. When they’re unknown, we may see them as a loss of self. This fear brings it back to the root chakra and our sense of being.
An important note here. Acting out and reacting is not instinctive behaviour. That’s being driven by our unresolved crap. Instinctive flows with nature, even when endangered. Animals will literally shake off stress.
This and other waves clarified that much of what was is arising is flavours of unresolved fear.
Fear is emotion triggered by real, potential, or imagined danger. It triggers the fight, flight, or freeze stress response unless we recognize it as a false trigger.
Shame, guilt, anxiety, loneliness, embarrassment, and apathy are all flavours of fear. Anger is often driven by fear. Overwhelm is not coping because of unresolved fear. Worry is fear of the future.
For example, shame comes from fear of the loss of status, support, and/or security.
Brené Brown distinguishes these as core emotions. But she also said the list was subject to revision from research. You may find her list (pdf) useful for helping to name what is arising. Naming helps make it more conscious.
Just be careful not to let the mind then try to “manage” emotions. That’s not its territory. Also, allow the emotion so it resolves. Going into it or making a big story about it is the reverse. Letting go, not investing in. Learn these basics and your quality of life will improve markedly.
Some have said if it’s not love, it’s fear. I think there are a few exceptions, like grief and loss.
In another recent wave, some old, vague purifying came to the surface. It was less focused and harder to name. Yet it felt personal and local, unlike the collective. It was fear, but more primitive.
I realized it was very early. Prior to about age 2, our developmental focus is on the body and senses. We learn to walk and talk, for example. Emotions arise but are more akin to sensations than the way we experience them later. They’re less defined and have less metadata from experience.
Like all unresolved emotions, it just needed to be experienced to completion. It didn’t need to be named or managed.
Sometimes, we don’t recognize fear as emotion. Instead we’ll see avoidance and unconscious behaviour. We’ll be reactive or reaching for the sugar, or the booze, or our habitual ways of escape. If we learn to look deeper, we can find the hidden fear behind them. That will resolve the behaviour too.
It takes courage to be with whatever arises. But we’re adults now, so can handle those past fears.
Recognizing the truth of life and our universal sense of Self resolves fear. We discover our infinite and eternal nature. Then we can stand in an open space and allow whatever arises to be felt and resolved. Acres of old burdens can lift off of us.
The greater fulfilment comes from an awakened heart. In the space of an open heart, we can hold all pain and hurt, allowing the healing of even our deepest traumas. Then we can step into the flow of life and love and live fulfilment.