When we’re young, we adapt to fit into our family and society. Often, those around us do not know how to calm themselves and they live with unresolved trauma. Thus, we learn how to contract and suppress rather than process and release.
For example, we often experience anger as unacceptable to our caregivers. As we depend on them, we learn to suppress what is unacceptable to stay safe and cared for.
Frustrations at having to wear clothes, sit still and be quiet in class, “behave,” or being treated unjustly build within.
We learn to stuff our anger away. As we grow into our teen years, it’s very common to feel repressed by our parents and teachers. But all we know how to do is suppress rage. We may act out, rebel, or join a rock band (like me).
Sometimes, we see unhealthy expressions of anger, such as raging and violence. This is an expression of unhealed, repressed anger. And it’s the source of toxic masculinity. Venting by itself doesn’t heal the wound.
We can become afraid of our anger as it feels destructive and like we’ll lose control, but there are safe ways to process it. When we increase our processing capacity, it means we’re able to contain it much better than when we were young. Then, we can contain and release it safely.
We often store this suppression in our emotional and mental bodies, powered by our second and third chakras. As a coping strategy, we hid it all from ourselves.
But the second and third chakras are our feminine and masculine personal power centres. When we plug up our power centres with suppressed energy, our power gets blocked.
And thus, the healing journey often includes recovering our personal power. Restoring that resource empowers us and significantly reduces our fear, stress, and feelings of being overwhelmed. Our energy, vitality, and capacity increase. Assuming no issues with the throat chakra, we’re able to speak our truth. We can express our energy in healthy ways.
Davidya
Nice synchronicity because lately I’ve been working on stuff with the chakra system. When I really started to feel the root chakra, I realized how ungrounded I had been. Everything had been processed through the mind, even though I thought I had been somewhat body-centered. Turns out it had mostly just been the mind thinking along the lines of “hmm the root center probably feels this way” instead of me actually feeling into that center directly.
Getting to the power aspect, I’ve noticed that I do have issues around my own sense of authority and a lot of misconceptions too. Even just asking what authority actually means brought up a lot of weird interpretations, like authority means “having control” over everything, situations and other people. But seems like that just leads into more frustration, because we can’t just control everything. So authority seems to be more about being in control of yourself, rather than everything “outside” of yourself.
At work I sometimes have situations which trigger the sense of powerlessness and authority, when I have to tell young people to quiet down or “don’t do this or that” and sometimes they listen, sometimes they just stare or roll their eyes and that’s when I feel like I don’t have any power.
In those moments I guess a real sense of power would mean that my own inner state doesn’t get shaken by their resistance and maybe it’s not as important whether they do what I tell them to or not.
Some common sense and groundedness is probably needed, because there’s so much teachings about how “you create your reality” and one might take that wrong and assume that “you control everything” and that just leads into a feeling of powerlessness when things don’t go your way.
Hi OP
On chakra work, it’s great to become more aware of our body and energy. Just be careful not to get into control or trying to force anything. That can make things much rougher. Allow what is arising – that’s what’s ripe to be processed.
Yes, spiritual practices often get a bit hijacked to avoid how we are. We shift into the upper chakras, ignoring the body. They call this the lollipop, when the energy is focused up. And yet, being in the body brings us to the present, to be in the now. The spiritualized mind is more relaxed, but still dwells in the past and future.
On Authority, it means taking responsibility for yourself. Even “control” is a mind word.
With kids, they may not consciously recognize it, but they roll their eyes because they know you’re not in your authority. In your authority, they’d feel it and you would not be shaken, either.
No blame here – that’s true of most people. And some who are in their authority are not there in a balanced way. There’s an art to living a human life that’s not been supported for a while.
Fundamentally, what’s needed is healing the trauma in there that is causing you not to be in the body and in your authority. This takes time, but like spiritual practices, brings excellent quality of life benefits. The need for control is the ego, trying to be in charge when it’s not. That will relax when the ego lets go.
Yeah chakra work has definitely made me more conscious of the body actually to the point where I feel like I live more from my sense of body rather than the mind. That has caused some practical challenges, because now that I don’t use my mind as much, I’ve started forgetting a lot of stuff. Going to the store without my wallet or like yesterday, driving to work only to realize I left my work keys at home. That sort of stuff didn’t happen until I started the chakra work. Just need to doublecheck everything these days.
Forgetting can be because we’ve become neutral, so there isn’t a charge to create importance for remembering. However, what you describe sounds more like being ungrounded. That’s not a sign of being in the body or focused.
But yeah, sometimes we have to pause and check we’re all there before leaving home. 🙂
Hmm. Well could be ungroundedness, but to be honest these days I feel more grounded in my physical everyday life than I have in years. I wasn’t even very conscious of the lower part of my body until recently. Might be some rewiring that’s causing it, so ungrounded in that sense might be correct.
But yeah I know I have blockages in my throat chakra that might take a longer time to clear, so it’s kinda obvious that I have troubles communicating clearly sometimes. Feels like I get misunderstood often, choose the wrong wording etc.
Heh.
Anyway, thanks for the great insights!
Mmmm – perhaps incomplete integration rather than ungroundedness per se. Maybe even a little tired. 🙂
Throat chakra is a pretty common one to be suppressed. We’re often told to be seen and not heard when young…