The Fear of Awakening

The Fear of Awakening

As we approach awakening, we may notice fear there, an apparent fear of awakening. Considering the promise we may have heard of what awaits, this may seem a curious response. But it’s important to recognize it is not awakening we fear. It is loss.

The ego fears its own winding down. Some describe “ego death” or the end of the ego with awakening and that is indeed often the experience. But actually, it’s root (what I call the person) does go on for some time yet. The only real loss is of identification with that. What we once saw ourselves to be, we now see as a companion, a vehicle.

There is also typically a lot of letting go. Of concepts. Of long-held beliefs. Of pain. Of our story about life. Of expectations. Of needs and shoulds. The list goes on and on but comes down to our coping mechanism for the illusion. Lots of things to lose.

But none of these bring us joy. Peace. Or freedom. What we’re really letting go of is our burden. But it is a familiar burden. Thus, we may fear that loss of familiarity. But as we gradually trust the process more and more deeply, the benefits become clear and the letting go comes more easily.

At some point, we simply allow it to be as it is. We surrender. Even just for a moment. And the fear is over. The light begins to shine in earnest. We are coming home.

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  1. Davidya

    Yes, it is curious. We try to trust something that fails us repeatedly. Then we blame what we should be trusting, that which is unchanging.

    The ego weaves a curious story that when seen, can be embarrassing. 😉

  2. tommyg

    I’ve just stumbled upon this site and i’m stuck here for awhile. The words are familiar as well as there penetration. I understand Surrender,”The Process”.
    I’m a recovered Alcoholic with 24 years in the Program. I know Serenity and of Letting go. Still there must be more..Our book Alcoholic’s Anonymous yell’s us
    that we only know but a little, more will be revealed when we are ready. This hit’s home with the journey I’ve trudged. The expereince that I went through
    24 years ago was one of desperation and hopelessness. I surrendered to whatever I understood as “God”. I did not drink from that point on. I tried to recapture that moment often, but could not. These many years later it has led me to the idea of Who I am. Awaking to new realities. Accepting and dropping
    the garbage. Adyashanti has opened new awareness from the way He teaches. Being ordinary is peaceful and liberating. So thank you for your sharing.

  3. Davidya

    Hi TommyG
    Welcome to the blog. Glad you’re finding some value. Yes, the themes are universal. When we get the hang of the key points of life, they will take us all the way. Sometimes, the journey is easy. Sometimes, we are confronted with deep challenges to work through. Parts of ourselves we had been unwilling to see. But once we are willing to see it as it is, to take life as it is given, we can make good progress and answer that question “Who am I?” But don’t think it’s a question you answer once. As you progress, you’ll find the answer fills out and deepens in all sorts of ways. Good luck on your journey.

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