I’ve begun listening to the audio of the retreat from August of 2007 on which the book is said to be based. It spans the course of almost a week of talks, so is many hours long. Far more content than the book.
In response to a question on Monday morning (file 1-11), Adya describes the changes in meaning that occur with awakening. He goes into some detail on this point, in a different way than in the book.
He earlier has observed the difference between understanding something and the much deeper realizing it. When we now live it. “When we are present with it, here.”
First, he observes that there is a realization that nothing matters. The world is an illusion, the me is false. None of it matters. But at the same time, “this makes everything matter, even though it doesn’t.” (laughs) There is freedom in that.
The mind will naturally register the experience that “nothing matters”. HOWEVER, what often happens is the remnants of a me try to grasp hold. The thought grasps this idea “nothing matters” and creates a division. The realization becomes the attachment to the thought of the realization. “You can feel the lights dimming.” as Adya put it. The clarity of the realization is lost and we respond to the thought, rather than the openness.
He asks what is the moment, without the belief? Without the idea that something matters or doesn’t matter. The realization is far beyond the thought.
He talked about it’s subtleness. It can take time to see this and process it away. How the mind can grab our realizations and distort them, change oneness into division. Mind creates a false dilemma – there is no solution when it’s a false conflict.
It’s very common to have this apparent dilemma. It can sometimes take a little time to see through this enough to let it go. “It’s just the diminishing of the me.” Then something just exhausts itself and it ends. We live the reality of letting go of the idea of it. That is freedom from meaning and not meaning.
Then it was no longer necessary to understand it or choose the right thing, to consider the shoulds and shouldn’ts, or the compassion or not compassion.
“And then, surprise, surprise there is just the spontaneous movement of what is. Without the commentator, it’s easy to follow.”
He makes just one qualification. Morality is good for the ego. But when that’s leaving, the concepts have to go too.
Later he mentions “Meaning is nothing more than the story we attach to something.“