On Forgiveness

On Forgiveness

Last Sunday, I heard a talk by Rev. Mary Murray Shelton. She spoke on Forgiveness and received a standing ovation in response. I thought you might enjoy a few of her thoughts.

From one of her teachers:

What is the size of your dream
for the person you like least?
That is the limit of the good you allow yourself.

1) Honour what was lost, say goodbye
2) Have the intention to forgive, Let it take its time
3) See the gift in it
4) Practice seeing it differently.

It may leave suddenly or slowly.

Justice comes out of peace
not peace from justice
Freedom is more than justice.

Average rating 0 / 5. Vote count: 0

No votes so far! Be the first to rate this post.


  1. Bob Brown

    If I may say so, forgiving assumes a separate being who can forgive another. This may not be possible since there is no original blame or credit. It has been said, where there is no center, there is no fringe. On the other hand it may be necessary to think and assume things in this linear blame/forgiveness manner until the truth is seen.

  2. Davidya

    Hi Bob
    Of course. But the vast majority of people don’t experience life this way. Thus, it can be useful to know how to turn down the “volume” of suffering to reveal what is behind it. In fact, even the awake can sometimes fall into old habits of mind. I’m reminded of the joke – if you want to see how enlightened you are, spend a week with your parents. (laughs)

    There are also those who hold a concept of no separation and repress their feelings. I find it more potent to be honest with what you actually experience. It’s much easier to move through to the truth then.

    In the past, I’ve written on the value of forgiveness and how it culminates in realizing there is nothing and no one to forgive. I’ve also spoken on the value of gratitude in culturing an open heart.

  3. Bob Brown

    Thanks, Davidya. You do a nice job here…covering the real and the apparent insofar as it can be done. Your exception is most often true. In my work with others I always meet people where they are at and as you indicate, a forgiveness mode may be the only approach they have in their view, to soften things.

  4. Davidya

    In an email repy to this post, someone mentioned:”Adya talked about this last night on his program – a different twist. He said (paraphrase) that we forgive others easily but not ourselves – why not include ourselves with others?”

    I agree. It is under our non-forgiveness of others that we have not forgiven ourselves. As we peel back the unresolved feelings we have of others, we discover our own little dark pit. One that is deeper and more personal than other relationships. But by what we learn in culturing gratitude and resolving our prior hurts, we have the tools to tackle the core wound.

    The opening phrase talks to this

    This is also called the shadow story or the dark side. It goes back a long way. I’ve written on the subject a number of different ways. When we clear this we come to the core identity and what Adya and Loch Kelly called the BBQ, In other words, it may not be resolvable until after first waking when we rest in a detached observer..

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Pin It on Pinterest