Resistance is less something we do. It’s what happens based on our state. When we don’t want an experience, it triggers us, and we resist. Like breathing, this can be automatic.
If there is some awareness, there can be more of a sense of choice, a noticing that allows the choice of letting go, of allowing the grip to release.
However, we want to be alert to subtle tendencies of control. Do we want to get rid of the resistance (resisting the resistance) or to “manage” it? Do we resist change or try to hold on to what is?
The key is finding our calm, our centre. This is our resource that creates a foundation in life. From that place, we can allow whatever is arising to be as it is. Then it can be processed and completed.
Soon, we learn to allow experiences more and let nature take its course. We step into the flow of life. Rather than doing, we watch life happening and move with it. This is effortless being.
Davidya
Apt timing, yet again! Here I’ve noticed unhelpful emotions (e.g. jealousy, shame) can still unexpectedly show up, but instead of reacting negatively to its presence, just letting it be there and …yes, complete. And not be attached to an end result of the dissipation of said emotion by a set time on the clock. Yes I’ve been there too (laughs)
I suppose it gets easier post awakening, but if one resists the arising emotions as it doesn’t mesh with one’s perception of “being awake”, could that be an aspect of non-abiding? Or just part of the unpacking/winding down process?
JGD and thank you.
Great point, Eira. That allowing needs to be unconditional. It sometimes takes time, or a few rounds, for something to lift.
Yes, awake means more awareness and allowing, which helps. But yes, there can be subtle “supposed to’s” that can impede that post-awakening. Awakening isn’t instant perfection.
Non-abiding means the awareness isn’t integrated enough yet. That’s not because of a shadow but a shadow doesn’t help. It’s just the dance of unpacking.
I was surprised by some of what fell away – things that I thought were who I was. And by what didn’t fall away – things I’d thought of as defects to be repaired. But I’ve come to see that some of those “defects” are actually markers of unconscious gifts. When they’re unconscious, they can express awkwardly. For example, a strong intellect can create self-doubt if not channeled well. Or sensitivity can lead to aversion and poor coping behaviours.