A Sabbatical

featherIt’s been about a month since I posted the last update. As I mentioned in comments, things changed shortly after that.

Off the top, I’ll mention that shifts in consciousness take just a moment to “happen.” Then over time they become integrated and fully established. This is distinct from the schedule of unfolding of a life. Karma and purification don’t end with awakening. Rather, we change our relationship with them and can go deeper and more thorough.

In April, I discovered, then cleared a mechanism for creating “smoke” energetically. This turned out to be a protective covering to help shield old unresolved trauma. A little unexpected as I’d seen some of this arena as clear. But as I’ve mentioned, space is nested and what is not conscious can be invisible to us.

Note that such smog is for hiding things from ourselves. Others may see our blind spots just fine. (laughs)

Clearing the smoke led to clearing some previously unseen contractions and clearer perception of dynamics in the geometry. Also, a more complete experience of being in this body.

Previously, I saw the level of geometry – fine structures in consciousness that underlie all forms and phenomena – as a clear space. We typically experience this level as the intellect and intuition.

These fine structures are sustained through relationship and the power of dharma.

I now see that sustained contractions in the nearby mental body can create a kind of sludge, like a wet facecloth (or blanket) laid over the structure. This impedes smooth flow and expression of dharma.

Another name for this sludge is residual karma. I also saw how this had been affecting the writing, another reason for taking a sabbatical.

Resolving this sludge is as usual – making it conscious. Attention flows, breaking up the inertia. But this level is very fine and subtle, like the flow of fine currents in water or threads of light.

This layer is also a shared semi-universal space. Healing on this level will help with the collective.

As the resolution continued, some deep old contractions came into attention. One was a very old devastating experience whose unresolved contraction had a massive charge. That had been affecting perception and decisions for lifetimes. It also became clear why these took until now to be seen.

Healing requires a willingness to be with things as they are so that the experience can come to completion. Then we can let go of that past. But the big ones require a strength of open vulnerability, something we can’t reach if there’s defense or protection.

Further, it can take robust strength to sit with some traumas – not to relive them but to allow them to be there as they are. Then we can allow them to complete energetically and heal.

There is good reason why our deepest traumas can have many layers of protection. We’re protecting ourselves from our own history until we’re strong enough to complete it.

Because of how the threads have been influencing several areas of my life, I’ve pulled back a bit to allow the cleanup to take place. I can’t say how long the sabbatical will last but the jyotish dynamics suggest a quiet summer on the blog. We’ll see. It’s definitely the end of a chapter in this life and the completion of several others.
Davidya

PS – If you miss the posts, the blog has close to 2,000 articles available to be browsed. You could start with the Key Posts tab. Or use the Twitter feed – it posts a random article each day.Β  πŸ™‚

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50 Responses to A Sabbatical

  1. Tomek says:

    It’s been an intense and revealing time for many of us:) Thank you for sharing:)

    • Davidya says:

      Yes, Tomek it has. It promises to be profound in it’s results if we cooperate with the process. Challenging perhaps, but worth it. πŸ™‚

      • Ron Whitaker says:

        Started my morning meditation after reading this post. I came back to comment and find Tomek’s words reflecting my thoughts.

        Thanks again Davidya for the subtle guidance to once again sit back and let the nature work. Sometimes one must simply rest.

  2. Gina says:

    Oh Wow!

  3. Carol says:

    Davidya, thank you for this note of explanation. Yes, have missed your communications and hoped that all was well with you. We are a patient lot in a changing world…so will welcome your return if and when it appears in our inboxes. In the meantime, thank you so much for being with us whether onstage or behind the curtain❀️

  4. Jerry Freeman says:

    Much love to you, my friend. As I understand (and experience) it, this process never ends, but we do get through those karmas, layer by layer. Sometimes there’s a powerful experience of clarification and liberation when we come to the end of a major stream of karma and are released from its associated “smoke.”

    I’m reminded again of Shankara’s words:

    “Those actions, on the other hand, whose effects have begun and whose results have been half enjoyed are not destroyed by that knowledge [realization of Brahman]. They are those very karmas to which there is due the present state of existence in which the knowledge of Brahman arises. …

    “The origination of knowledge, … cannot take place without dependence on an aggregate of karmas/actions whose effects have already begun to operate. When this dependence has once been entered into, we must – as in the case of the potter’s wheel – wait until the motion of that which once has begun to move comes to an end, there being nothing to obstruct it in the interim.” …

    “The knowledge of our Self being essentially non-active destroys all actions by means of refuting wrong knowledge. But wrong knowledge – comparable to the appearance of a double moon (after the eye disease has been cured) – lasts for some time (until the fall of the body) even after it has been refuted, owing to the impression it has made. Moreover there is no dispute whether the body of him who knows Brahman continues to exist for some time … .”

    I like the potter’s wheel analogy because it conveys what it actually feels like. That momentum of karmas that are already in motion gradually spins down and down, and as it does, the “smoke” clears more and more.

    I like the double moon analogy because it conveys the fact that some perceptions, attitudes, patterns of behavior, etc. may continue to be “off” to some degree even after profound and genuine awakening. These (should) resolve gradually over time to bring the experience of living a human life more and more into alignment with the awakening. That’s how an awakening matures and deepens. And as I said, it is my observation and experience that this process never ends.

    Best wishes,
    Jerry

    • Davidya says:

      Thanks, Jerry. An excellent addition to the post.
      .
      Yes, I’ve observed a few major karmas wind down. I now see the major episodes as a blessing as they unload burdens, improve clarity, and increase simplicity in life.
      .
      I sometimes use the analogy of a cruise ship. They have considerable momentum so it takes time for them to turn.
      .
      Agreed on the double moon. i often observe places where the knowledge is present but it hasn’t quite washed away some old impression. Life events trigger it, causing an initial reaction or habitual response. Then it’s just a matter of how much clarity is there. Do we nip the response in the bud, notice it while it flowers, or clue in after it blooms. (laughs)
      .
      Life is still lived, in some ways more fully than ever. But now there is that greater perspective, that higher knowledge of reality. But it’s a reality being lived through this form and this life with the momentum continuing to unfold.

    • Ken says:

      Ah yes; the potter’s wheel winding down. How apt: the force moving the wheel (rajas) and the heavy stone wheel itself (tamas).

      • Davidya says:

        Hi Ken
        For the bigger ones, it’s not just the force that winds down but the wheel itself breaks up. Then it can’t be restarted.
        .
        I am curious to see how big a wheel this is. πŸ™‚

  5. John says:

    “This layer is also a shared semi-universal space. Healing on this level will help with the collective.” This is key here…
    Thank you! πŸ™‚

  6. Joseph says:

    Thanks for the update, and glad to hear of the deep progress you are making.

  7. Michael says:

    Super Great!!! …..fills my heart with deep joy to hear your clearing progress. Much love πŸ™‚

  8. Jim says:

    Sounds like a plan, David! πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚
    *
    fyi, I can recommend a sturdy inexpensive blender for making frozen margaritas… and even smoothies, during your sabbatical. πŸ™‚ Hang in there buddy!

  9. paula Forget says:

    Take all the time you need. Thank you for your honest insights and wisdom. I’ll be here when you’re ready to share again. Namaste

  10. Carolyn says:

    I want to join the comments above and express my gratitude for your posts and the transparency of your journey. I have been having to sit with another layer of trauma unveiling as well in the last few weeks. You sharing this has helped ground me in the experience and to trust the process/forces of nature/dharma. Again, much thanks <3

    • Davidya says:

      You’re welcome, Carolyn. This has been true for a number of people. In a sense, the current time is an invitation to purify for many.
      πŸ™‚

  11. Jim says:

    Exactly – all the sunlight, very therapeutic.
    *
    When you mentioned the possible subsiding of a creative cycle, that of creating your magnificent body of spiritual discourse, both scholarly and experiential, I was reminded in timing of a similar natural withdrawing of resources from my musical creation at this time – 10 albums released in 10 years, and then…a sense that the music is largely released for now.
    *
    As for the stickiness that you are working out, yeah, Brahman apparently kicks our butt once acknowledged until we learn to dance with Grace, in 25 words or less.

    • Davidya says:

      Hi Jim
      There have been a couple of other pauses before. And a major slow-down during grad school. The pauses arose when old drivers behind the writing fell away. And then things reconfigured and resumed.
      .
      But yeah, music-making fell away here and I eventually sold most of my instruments. It’s always been curious what remains and what falls away.
      πŸ™‚

      • Jim says:

        “It’s always been curious what remains and what falls away. :-)”
        *
        Sure is!
        *
        It wouldn’t be fun or challenging otherwise, would it? πŸ™‚
        *
        Once sustainability is a variable, there are plenty of openings in the existing time/space fabric for innumerable unexpected entrances, resolutions, and integration of any phenomena.
        *
        In other words, to paraphrase for this Age, ‘all roads lead to roam’. πŸ™‚

  12. Jose says:

    I’m looking forward to hearing back from you:) have a wonderful summer!

  13. Peg says:

    Beautifully said and similar to my experiences. Thank you!

  14. Scott says:

    πŸ™‚ Best wishes.

  15. Phil says:

    Hi David,

    I’ve not commented in a while, as I don’t go on my computer much these days – kind of a electronic detox, relating to pulling away from things and making life simpler. However, I’ve still been reading in recent months, or rather listening (great addition BTW), via an Amazon TV browser.

    .
    2019, so far, did become something of a “Purge-fest” after all (laughs). It seems given your recent experience, it is a universal ‘season’ for clearing. It’s tough going sometimes though, isn’t it?? For the apparent individual that is. As for pure presence, well…weapons don’t cleave me, water don’t wet me etc. (laughs)

    .
    I’ve found it’s a bit of learning curve at times to be grateful for whatever arises, as it is, as you’ve pointed to many times, an opportunity for resolution, rather than seen as an obstruction.

    .
    Take it easy and very best wishes.

    .
    PS. Regarding browsing the blog, I had a question today in which a quick search brought forth the exact answer. That was far from the first time. So, thank you for all that you have shared. πŸ™‚

    • Davidya says:

      Hi Phil
      A purge-fest – well put. Yes, it’s a time of clearing for many and will be for a bit yet. Some are framing it as a preparation for the transition. We’ll see.
      .
      Yes, learning to be OK with whatever arises is a major learning. For lifetimes, we’ve typically been fighting what arises or being crushed by it. Who knew it could be so much simpler. (laughs)
      .
      You’re welcome. Glad you’ve found it valuable.

  16. Tim Owens says:

    So interesting.
    Both my wife and I underwent major surgeries over the last 4 months, right out of the blue.
    Curiously, as grim as these procedures were for both of us, underneath it all was a quiet sense of the rightness of it all.
    And now that the worst of it is behind me, I spend so little time thinking about it,
    it is almost as if it never happened.
    It is comforting to know that the two of us are not alone in our recent travails, so I appreciate both your post and the numerous comments that followed it.
    At the same time, I can’t help but note that my experiences in daily meditation have been extraordinary. I find that effortlessness and simplicity have just taken over.
    Best wishes on your sabbatical.

    • Davidya says:

      Hi TO
      Well – I’m glad things worked out well. Always better when we can go through grim experiences with that inner confidence. Then what brought the experience to the surface is resolved and our load lightened.
      Thanks, and thanks for sharing.

  17. K says:

    Hi david,

    Good to hear from you again. Especially this para in your post is very germane, “As the resolution continued, some deep old contractions came into attention. One was a very old devastating experience whose unresolved contraction had a massive charge. That had been affecting perception and decisions for lifetimes. It also became clear why these took until now to be seen.” My drive to spiritual practice has quietened down this Summer. I still try to check in to my practice but am not so impelled by it. As I mentioned on my email, there is a big contraction (I think of them as nuts) to surface and I cannot do anything about it – it has to work its way. I am a little bit nervous to hear that you have karma sludge left even after all your shifts. What about types like me? I don’t think I have had any radical shift except for some off loading of nuts and some clarity. I had a lot of trepidation about what awaited me when I first read this post of yours – but now am accepting. Que Sera Sera as they say.

    • K says:

      Also, any insight why my spiritual practice has quietened down? From what everyone says in response to your post, it should have intensified. Thank you.

      • Davidya says:

        Hi K
        It depends. Sometimes, we may be called to be more outward and in the world. Or the practice isn’t addressing needs at this point. Or you’re less settled so it’s not being as satisfying.
        .
        But the current times are temporary so not what to make long-term plans over. Riding out the storm, more like. πŸ™‚

    • Davidya says:

      Hi K
      Yes, sometimes we just have to take a break from everything and reset. And yes, the bigger nuts can sometimes take time to surface. In many ways, when they become conscious and are resolved is the end of the process. The healing is taking place mostly before that, a little under the radar.
      .
      OK – keep in mind that we all have our own schedules for working through our karmic events. This is distinct from spiritual awakenings. They are effectively with us for the entire life, although the process is easier when we’re not caught in it and the overall load is goes down.
      .
      This is a time for healing and it will be present for many, irrespective of stage of development. It’s the nature of being on this planet.
      .
      The advantage of healing now is that you’ll have less later. And how this shows up for you will be very different than for me. The comments above point to some of that.
      .
      Jyotish has some value on this point as it can give us a sense of the nature of events in our life and can thus prepare us. It can point to what is supported and what is reactionary. For example, my jyotishi mentioned it was a poor time to move. I’d be better to rearrange the furniture. And indeed, I saw thoughts of moving arising but ended up changing up some furniture and curtains. It was a healthy way to complete the energy.

  18. Jill says:

    David, thank you for this blog. It’s such a wealth of helpful information and ideas. I’m wondering what you might suggest I could do to help my father, he is in his 80s, but has not grown past his angry, domineering manner. He’s not interested in spiritual growth. I fear that he will have a very rough time when he passes due to his lifetime of hurtful actions. I realize this is his journey and I am on my own path. Just wondering if prayer can help, or do you have other suggestions? Thank you.

    • Davidya says:

      Hi Jill
      All we can do is point at alternatives. It’s their choice to make. Any more and we’re creating our own karma for nagging or trying to control.
      .
      It’s also worth noting that the surface events may not indicate the future consequences. For example, it may be your karma to experience him in that way to balance something in your history together. Such things can complete when they pass. Or it may be a setup for him to learn after this life.
      .
      A spiritual friend had a lot of anger at her mother she wasn’t able to resolve in this life. After she died, she was given the task of helping people with their anger. There are many paths through this.
      .
      I can also note that it takes 2 to tango. I know several people who’s family relationships changed dramatically when they stopped engaging the dynamic, when they let go of their role. I don’t know if this is true in your case, but we can always find ways of forgiving others and allowing them to be as they are. When we become transparent energetically, the hurtful actions dissipate and become harder to sustain.
      .
      I’ve generally found that seniors take one of 2 paths. They begin to let go and mellow out. Or they get grumpier and make their lives more miserable. It’s all about acceptance. Men in particular, tend to repress the pain of their old bodies and vent it emotionally.
      .
      Blessings. Family stuff can be deeply challenging.

  19. Amrima says:

    Blessing dear David. I come here often and just wanted to let you know how much you are appreciated by me.

  20. Deborah says:

    Thanks yet again, for your deep sharing which really helps this person. I feel a beginner on the path. Something inside of me relaxed, reading about your contractions, awareness and shifts. I can only be here and present with patience, watching. It really is a gradual process. It feels like I get to a spacious wide open view, then rest enjoying it, only to be pulled back down to do more excavation….it is heartening to know it will likely continue, as part of me believed there was a destination. There IS the collective too, to be helped with clearing….is it your personal self, or that you are dealing with? It’s all so linked, I can’t seem to separate it.
    I feel most fortunate to read this post, and, I look forward to having time to catch up on your past posts. I can’t rush that, as the process is slow. Much love your way,

    • Davidya says:

      You’re welcome, Deborah
      Feeling a beginner is a good sign. When we feel we know and are in control, that’s the ego possessing something.
      .
      Yes, the clearing is a gradual process so it can be smoother and be integrated.
      .
      Also, although the process continues, it is a progressive upgrade in quality of life – both personally and in the collective.
      .
      And yes, often we start by thinking there is an end point. Instead there are way points, chapter markers for progress. Each end point is also the start of another.
      .
      And yes, the collective is the personal too. There is just one here with many faces, many ways of seeing, many hearts to love.

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