It’s been about a month since I posted the last update. As I mentioned in comments, things changed shortly after that.
Off the top, I’ll mention that shifts in consciousness take just a moment to “happen.” Then over time they become integrated and fully established. This is distinct from the schedule of unfolding of a life. Karma and purification don’t end with awakening. Rather, we change our relationship with them and can go deeper and more thorough.
In April, I discovered, then cleared a mechanism for creating “smoke” energetically. This turned out to be a protective covering to help shield old unresolved trauma. A little unexpected as I’d seen some of this arena as clear. But as I’ve mentioned, space is nested and what is not conscious can be invisible to us.
Note that such smog is for hiding things from ourselves. Others may see our blind spots just fine. (laughs)
Clearing the smoke led to clearing some previously unseen contractions and clearer perception of dynamics in the geometry. Also, a more complete experience of being in this body.
Previously, I saw the level of geometry – fine structures in consciousness that underlie all forms and phenomena – as a clear space. We typically experience this level as the intellect and intuition.
These fine structures are sustained through relationship and the power of dharma.
I now see that sustained contractions in the nearby mental body can create a kind of sludge, like a wet facecloth (or blanket) laid over the structure. This impedes smooth flow and expression of dharma.
Another name for this sludge is residual karma. I also saw how this had been affecting the writing, another reason for taking a sabbatical.
Resolving this sludge is as usual – making it conscious. Attention flows, breaking up the inertia. But this level is very fine and subtle, like the flow of fine currents in water or threads of light.
This layer is also a shared semi-universal space. Healing on this level will help with the collective.
As the resolution continued, some deep old contractions came into attention. One was a very old devastating experience whose unresolved contraction had a massive charge. That had been affecting perception and decisions for lifetimes. It also became clear why these took until now to be seen.
Healing requires a willingness to be with things as they are so that the experience can come to completion. Then we can let go of that past. But the big ones require a strength of open vulnerability, something we can’t reach if there’s defense or protection.
Further, it can take robust strength to sit with some traumas – not to relive them but to allow them to be there as they are. Then we can allow them to complete energetically and heal.
There is good reason why our deepest traumas can have many layers of protection. We’re protecting ourselves from our own history until we’re strong enough to complete it.
Because of how the threads have been influencing several areas of my life, I’ve pulled back a bit to allow the cleanup to take place. I can’t say how long the sabbatical will last but the jyotish dynamics suggest a quiet summer on the blog. We’ll see. It’s definitely the end of a chapter in this life and the completion of several others.
PS – If you miss the posts, the blog has close to 2,000 articles available to be browsed. You could start with the Key Posts tab. Or use the Twitter feed – it posts a random article each day. 🙂
Had further insight into the “wet blanket” sludge. Essentially, unresolved experiences sit in their own little nested spaces (contractions). They take energy to sustain and have a “tone” that creates effects around them. When we become conscious of a contraction and touch into it, we can complete the experience. A brief wave of energy and emotion wash by. It is resolved, and the space disappears – along with the energy drain and effects. This is deep healing.
Before this, we may occasionally become conscious of a contraction (emotional charge) but until we’re willing and able to touch into it, it remains. If we open the space but don’t allow the experience, we can release some energy (rajas). But fully resolving the experience means touching into its darker, heavier aspect (tamas) as well. If we falter there, the inertia is released and mixes with flows in the environment. This creates a kind of sludge that restricts flow and creates shadows. That ends up layered over the subtler structures like a wet blanket, mentioned above.
Seems these are 2 types of unresolved karma – the contracted charge and the sludge. The first has energy and inertia (in various degrees), the second is mainly inertia but muddled with other things.