There is a simple principle to understand about our life experiences. If there is an experience showing up in our life, it’s there for our benefit. The difficult customer, the meeting going sideways, the crazy drivers; all of it is there to show us something about ourselves or to resolve something in our history. Moving us forward or clearing the past.
Yet all too often, we artfully deflect these experiences with narratives that put blame outside of ourselves or on some aspect of ourselves we diminish. We resist and call such experiences bad. This response reinforces and perpetuates what we don’t want.
But if we recognize these are arising to be experienced and resolved, and learn to let go of our inner contractions, we end the drivers that are causing these experiences in our life.
The Yoga Sutra tells us:
Yoga Sutra 2:16 – heyam duhkham anaagatam
Avert the danger which has not yet come.
The next verse tells us the cause of danger is identification with seer and seen, being caught in the sense of me and mine. That draws us into trouble.
If we are radiating peace, it will diffuse anger, fear, and discord around us. But I don’t mean making a mood of peace. That’s just wearing a another mask.
Just as we can culture gratitude, we can also culture peace. This means favouring it rather than pretending. We favour peace because we often have decades of practice doing the opposite. It takes time to change habits even if peace is alive deep within.
If peace is not alive within, then we have clearing to do to uncover it. You can’t favour peace if it’s not in your experience. Pure, silent, restful being is there within all of us under the veils of our unresolved past. You may find things you resist, things you grasp at, things you feed you know are not beneficial, or simply things you need to see.
If you find events push your buttons in any of these ways, change your tactic. Rather than avoiding or grasping at such events, look within at what is causing your reactivity. A “button” points to something unresolved. That is the seed of the event.
This can be well-masked so we may have to peel back multiple layers that obscure our contractions. But as we get closer and clear old drivers, we free up energy and gain peace of mind.
Notice the little stories we tell ourselves or share with others. In trying to point away, they can point back to what we’re blaming and avoiding.
Over time and process, events will tend to reduce and the dynamics will become much clearer and more distinct. Then, if an event arises in our experience, we know there is a gift in it for us.
This is similar to the modern ideas of Ho’oponopono.
After clear awakening, we may find ourselves clearing community trauma. Because of our history, it will often be things we can relate to because we’ve already experienced and cleared them in ourselves. But now we’re able to clear them energetically, resolving them before they show up in experiences. Then we’re averting the danger directly.
Davidya
Last Updated on June 25, 2023 by Davidya
In his readings, Edgar Cayce often said of difficult karma it is the self meeting the self in a former state.
Interesting. Thanks, TO.
Thats been the experience here too, in some cases remembering how the challenge was handled in a prior life, eventually going back to the source of it.
It’s not necessary to go back into past lives. The contractions can be resolved at any time. But they do have an apparent source in some past trauma.
Good post David. So true so important to realizes there is choice and opportunity to choose and be peace.
Thanks, Theresa. I think it’s a reminder we can all use periodically. 🙂
“If there is an experience showing up in our life, it’s there for our benefit.” This is good advice for those of us living relatively comfortable lives, but it might be harder to say this to a Holocaust survivor, rape victim, Rohingya refugee, etc. It probably applies to them too, but it’s much “tougher love”. https://batgap.com/rob-schwartz/ insists that we all choose the major events of our lives, however horrific, in order to maximize our learning and evolution. Still, it can be a tough idea to adjust to, especially for those who have suffered greatly.
Hi Rick
Yes, it’s much easier to see this when the life is relativity settled. When there is a lot of drama unfolding, what is driving events gets a log messier and less clear.
The people who need tough love are more on the side of the abusers, those not recognizing the deeper consequences of their actions.
Those having major traumas in the current life need compassion and healing more than philosophy.
It has been the experience here that we choose the major challenges of our life to help learn or resolve or balance things. Often, we take on things we’re not really up for to try and get past barriers. But our families, communities and culture don’t tend to support deeper healing and we can underestimate how thick the veils are when we step in to a life.
And then we create new karmas and can get more entangled than we started out.
This is where samadhi is really, really good. Taking us out of all this for a moment on a regular basis gradually loosens the bindings and brings perspective.
But yeah, if we feel a victim of life, it’s a harsh idea.
Quote: Often, we take on things we’re not really up for to try and get past barriers. But our families, communities and culture don’t tend to support deeper healing and we can underestimate how thick the veils are when we step in to a life.
That has been my expierence too……(prior to a live choosing) taking too much on and underestimate the consequences (i had the realization that this happens relativly often)……that happened with my deep emotinal trauma with my first teacher..that is something of that sort…also the male/female thing David i told you privately (i had choosen to clear all karma in this life….dont tell me that this was not the most balanced idea 😀
When i first read Michael Browns “everything that happens may not be what we want but what is required”…i was a little shocked but as one really works through deep layers of pain, grief, shock, guilt, anger etc. it became more and more clear that it is really this way with everyone and all life circumstances…..and that i had choosen a too big thing to resolve lol!!! 😀 …..but i have been suported after that realization even more…..
thanks for the conversation! 🙂
Yep, I can relate, Michael.
And yes, it’s a little shocking to realize that our suffering is largely self-made or chosen. Outside of extremes, it’s much less about what happens than how we respond to it. And the biggest issue there is taking it personally (which is more of the self-made part).
I have an article coming up in about 4 days on the latter topic.
Ah, this one hits home, strangely even though the concept is not new to me. Effectively written David, thank you.
So, instead of prioritising the amendment of outer circumstances to resolve our emotions/contractions – instead prioritise letting go of the inner contractions and then the outer circumstances (and associated narratives – be they accurate or falsely superimposed) – that we think, in reverse, are the casual issue, but rather the symptom – will take care of themselves.
That’s not to say we negate any outer responsibilities – of course, we still engage in timely and appropriate action, but then just let it be.
So, what might be deemed unfavourable circumstances are rather beneficial lessons, invoking energetic responses alerting us to unresolved experience. Resolve the experience and that lesson is learned, and need not be repeated.
Think I’m getting it. More or less.
Less spinning, more seeing. 🙂
Hi Phil
Yeah, theres that difference between an idea of it and realizing it in the experience. For the subtle stuff, we may have to learn it a few times… a little more deeply each time.
Well put.
Yeah, I sympathise with Michael in his above comment – it takes some sinking in that reality is reverse to how our common interpretation operates, and it is indeed very shocking “to realize that our suffering is largely self-made or chosen.”
I guess this shock is too a lesson, and the charge around even this, is to be resolved.
For all I know, we here could have all long chosen to read your blog posts as lessons for resolving experience in this life, in a very literal way lol; I sometimes come away from reading having being revelatory walloped!! 🙂
Sometimes such revelations can make for uncomfortable reading or viewing (I watched that interview with Rob Schwartz that Rick refers to above, and remember being very disturbed by the perspective presented).
So, this disturbance is too a charge for resolution. It’s not what we read, but how we respond to it, I suppose (laughs).
Right, Phil, but it’s also useful to recognize this choosing isn’t done by the little me so we shouldn’t get into self-blame about it.
This is more a recognition when we step back into the jiva or soul and begin to see from that place, outside the identifications.
I’ve seen some good talks by Schwartz but as I recall, i felt he was a little black and white in that one. Philosophy needs compassion as a companion.
Exactly! (laughs)
Given that it is said we choose the experiences we have in this life (esp the “bad”), then by noticing and healing and thus improving the quality of experiencing; are we then changing or indeed negating the need for that original ‘blueprint’ of overambitious challenges that we set into play before stepping into the veils?
Presumably, the challenges were put into play to work off karma. However, by noticing and healing the charges, the karma is being addressed in a more direct fashion, and given the logic from our above discussion, the outer challenges would thus be eventually cancelled or resolved, assuming healing is thorough enough. Presumably? 🙂
Just contemplating this is empowering and is indeed as ‘free’ as freewill and choice gets. One’s whole relationship to life would change. Presumably.
Like Cate, in her comment below, just the fact that I read this blog, must mean I’m at least making some progress (laughs).
Hi Phil
Healing doesn’t mean we negate the challenges but as we change our relationship with them, we change the dynamics of how they show up. For example, some things we’ll learn to experience energetically and they won’t need to show up as events at all – as you note.
Other things will show up but in a less dramatic form and with more support. In other words, not such a big deal and resolving the issues will be straightforward. We’ll be able to see the difference in how we’re responding and how things thus play out.
Of course, theres a big range between a brief energy blip and an apparent life disaster. Yet how we are with life events makes a big difference in any case. Are we caught and resisting events or observing and going with the flow?
This is also about making a mood or faking it. It’s about developing our internal presence so we have these kinds of choices.
This is another reason why I recommend an effortless meditation. In time, it changes our relationship with our life and thus how things play out and how we experience them.
Eventually, when we become clearly awake, we’re no longer attached to our apparent life. While we may not welcome difficult events, they don’t affect our inner peace and happiness. We are liberated (free) from suffering while still living in the field of challenges.
And yes, as long as you’re not just collecting concepts, you too get brownie points. (laughs)
Hi David,
Ha, any and all brownie points reality may bestow will be gratefully received! (laughs)
Good point about collecting concepts though. As you mention to Rick in regards to SAND in your latest interview, much seeking is simply looking for a better concept – my intellect is guilty as charged with this.
Lately the exhausted seeker, instead of chasing concepts, prefers to just rest in presence.
And that’s the eureka, in that it is truly effortless, as the conditioned ego thinks that it can’t be that easy, because to get anywhere with anything it has always had to effort and show willing. I’ve had to re-educate my mind because it can sometimes feel like a ‘slacker’ in meditation and healings – as it just lets go and presence does all the work! (laughs)
It’s ‘me’ as presence that does the healing, not the instruments of intellect, mind and ego – they just need to relax and let presence resolve whatever is here. It’s like dipping all the knots/contractions and charges in a warm bath – the warm water is always here ready to soak away.
It’s taken awhile for it to click that the intellect, mind, ego ‘Phil’ does no soaking – it’s he what’s getting soaked (Laughs).
So yeah, the concept chasing is winding down lately. 🙂
Thanks for this post again and discussion (and too all the other commentators), I feel I’ve had some real ‘ah ha’ moments with it! 🙂
Hi Phil
It is valuable to have some understanding to support the journey. And to upgrade that understanding as the opportunity arises. But to see this as a map rather than the road, a working model that has to be tested by life.
Yep – I too have a strong mind. I learned it was more willing to get out of the way if I gave it some basic satisfaction, as above.
But yes, it is a profound lesson that not everything has to be done or controlled. I see it all the time on retreats when people get close, then the mind starts looking for what it can do, pulling them back out.
Yep. Soaked indeed. You’re very welcome.
Phew! THIS is the most loaded concept, and has been the source of most of the blocks and contractions here….the ‘if only they would stop acting that way, projecting onto me’….blahblahblah. that, plus knowing the deep suffering in parts of the world. And, finally just surrendering it up, to be the stillness, without pushing anything away, as I did before. Then, noticing that staying in open stillness, manifests different responses from the perceived outside…because, it’s not actually outside as thought.
Good insights, Deborah.
It seems a subtle thing but just tweaking our perception of what’s happening around us can change how we’re responding. That changes how “they” respond, and so on.
When we’re trying to control the world we get push back, a constant battle. When we allow it to be what it is, it eases way off. And yes, then we discovver it’s not “out there” at all. 🙂
As usual, a great blog. Meeting our past is very challenging. Inner contractions need to be released. we are radiating peace means we are above the identification with seen. Thanks again for your unconditional support. I am shameless when it comes to asking for. please let me know difference between qualified consciousness and sat consciousness. Thanks in advance.
Hi Guru
Yes, radiating peace mean identification is no longer impeding inner peace. Peace is always and already there. We just have to let go of the surface appearances so it can shine through.
There is no difference between qualified and absolute consciousness. Same consciousness. Only the first has moved and gained qualities while the other remains still and pure.
One can think of a bucket of water. Still, it is quiet and clear. But if we pick up the bucket and pour it out, the water makes noise, becomes less clear, and flows. Then it lands on the ground and moves into it. It becomes hidden in the surface appearance of the ground. Same water in all cases. 🙂
Hi Davidya,
Being one of the ones who seem to have come here to have some very bad experiences, I am trying to work through them consciously and not react if possible, causing further karma. I’ve failed somewhat already because the nervous system is absolutely in control. It acts before there is a chance for wise action.
I am working through your blog, I’m having therapy, I meditate when I can. Any advice for me, other than seeing my part in what happened, staying with the emotion and possibly doing the clearing as suggested by Rose Rosetree? I feel I have a lifetime’s work to,do and I’m already nearly 60. Fear is my biggest issue. PTSD causes so much fog, confusion, it’s hard to stay together.
Thank you for your blog and the useful talks on BATGAP. And thanks to Rick, of course.
Hi Cate
It’s said that we choose our experiences for this life. To make rapid progress, we are sometimes overconfident in what we can handle when we step into the veils, leading to a more challenging life. 🙂
In retrospect, I now see the value of many of the “bad” experiences. It’s been rough sometimes, but this was ultimately productive.
You wouldn’t be interested in this blog if you were not making progress.
While it is useful to recognize our role in our response, it’s not useful to beat ourselves up over it. That too creates karma. It’s also good to be clear that trying to control our reactions will not work. That’s just another layer of entanglement.
The point of being aware is noticing. As the noticing gets deeper we start to have choice. But trying to control is not the answer. Accepting our limitations is more useful – but again, not as a blame but just as a relaxing into it.
It sounds like your higher priority would be coming to further inner balance. Then the other stuff will come on its own.
I recommend an effortless meditation. Research has demonstrated that TM is the most effective therapy for PTSD. If done properly, and regularly, it’s very effective for winding things down.
Then quality of life is much better and things like you describe get better.
If you put things in a larger context, your age is a very minor thing. That you can see these dynamics means you’re well along. But getting past the long machinations of the ego means raising presence until it’s louder.
You’re welcome. We’re all here to bring a unique perspective to the whole.
Thank you so much, that’s very helpful.
As a former employer of a large organization, I found that one of the first qualities of finding success was to take responsibility for your own actions. Many people want to blame others for their mistakes. Those people, who could “look in the mirror”, and take responsibility usually rose high in the organization and in life.
It sounds like a decent organization, Jeff. One that cultured quality and responsibility. Some do not behave that way and are more political. I was surprised how dysfunctional some companies are and amazed they managed to survive.