Our Story

Our Story

The mind very much likes to feel it’s safe and in control. This is driven by our disconnection from source. Feeling separate and alone, we seek safety in a story. Or rather a host of inter-related stories.

As life circumstances occur, the mind regurgitates what it considers a related story from memory. We respond, often before the experience is even conscious. This is built on a survival mechanism to make sure we respond more quickly to hazards than the conscious mind can process. Then mind tries to confirm the story, amends it or writes an enhancement.

For example, say we’ve had a traumatic experience with a violent man. The mind will write a story to explain the remembered hazard. And it will revive the story if reminded of it to avoid the hazard in the future. But the story will generalize, like saying men with beards are dangerous or even all men can be dangerous at night. And so forth.

Family dynamics can quite illustrate this. Often, we respond automatically to other family members with long-held habits. No one is heard – they’re all just reacted to. Many do the same with their own children as well. It can be hard to develop an adult relationship with family members.

All these stories running mean we’re rarely aware of what is going on right now. We’re in the mind, thinking about what might happen or reviewing what did happen or reacting to what recently happened. But not here, now.

If you’re wondering what story is dominating, just listen to what you’re telling others. Is it the same story, over and over? Does it cast you as the victim or hero? Are we choosing friends based on who will accept and reinforce our stories? Byron Katie would ask: is our story true? Really?

As we step back more into consciousness itself, we begin to detach ourselves from the stories. When we simply see them, choice can arise. We see circumstances triggering the stories and we can then choose to act or not. This helps reduce our reactivity.

As the stories become more conscious, we may be surprised how primitive and even illogical some may be. But keep in mind, many core stories began in early childhood and have been built on for years into the epic story of a me.  

Once we stop believing the stories and are resolving the energy behind them, they lose power and fade. But as they’ve been built in layers for many years, this process can take time. We mostly discover what’s been buried through life experiences bringing them to light.

This process is a consciousness approach. It can be very useful to supplement this with some targeted energy healing too.

With Self Realization (Cosmic Consciousness), we can enter a honeymoon followed by a period where the new open space inclines many old stories to come up to be seen and revolved. Because we’re now more detached, this process is often much easier. This also allows us to tackle much deeper traumas without being recaught be them.

As our attention has become more powerful, it’s important to learn new ways of being. As Lucia puts it, it becomes our duty to enjoy. Discrimination is useful but doubt is no longer your friend.

You’ll find that the layers of the “onion” peel off revealing further subtle holding. It shifts from story into energy or emotion. And then into simple resistance. And that has subtler and subtler values to be discovered.

I was recently reminded of some of the struggles I’d had with this process back in the day. It seemed endless and unforgiving. But as the dramas wound down, so did the noise. The process continues to this day but now is just part of the flow of life, purifying and healing while it opens and grows. Life gets better and better.

Some parts of the story do continue. Rather than being stories of control and resistance, these are the parts that support our dharma, that which sustains our life allowing it to unfold.

It is the hero’s journey into the unknown vastness of being and beyond. But it is an adventure of riches beyond imagination. And a quality of life we may not have thought possible. It is our natural potential.

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  1. Tim Owens

    It is just so helpful to have these posts to frame my ongoing experiences. Maharishi said that true knowledge is based on the merger of understanding with experience. I feel ever-increasing peacefulness and contentment and less and less connection to my old beliefs about reality. Reading posts like this just confirms my experience and contextualizes it. I love the way that householders are now starting to put together the new reading of the Veda. This new understanding of the development of consciousness from the perspective of non-renunciates allows us to dive deeply into the messy wonder of incarnated life.

    1. Yes, understanding driven by experience is so much more than information. Even deeper, understanding driven by being.

      But still, information that points the way is very valuable. Traditional teachings give us the experience of many to guide us. When we first hear it, it is just concepts and concepts will never meet it. But that pointing is still valuable.

      Most valuable is when we can let go of how we first took it and revise it based on experience. Or let it go if it no longer serves. Otherwise knowledge can become chains.

      And yes, the time when renunciation dominated is over and there is a new blooming of living it right in the world.

  2. K

    This post on stories is timely. I just finished visiting my parents. Amazing that I can actually see them actively spinning the story and then it becomes established as their reality and they react emotionally to the story. Also, they tend to spin stories using well-worn phrases and motifs as bricks. They are making mini-movies all the time. I feel that it is a huge waste of time. I probably do some of this also but I know I used to do more of this when I was younger.

    1. Hi K
      Good that you where seeing it. Our families can be where we’re most entangled. It’s so much easier when we’re not caught by it.

      But it’s just their minds natural way so there’s no one to blame. That would just be another story. 🙂

  3. Paula Harvey

    I find my self somewhat reminiscent of old times now that i turned that ‘senior’ age, enjoying retirement and two grandchildren…ruminating, it is. As soon as i start this, i say out loud STOP then hopefully back to living the now!
    How I enjoy your posts!
    PF as in Frances

    1. Grandkids! Well – theres a segment of this memory thats WAY out of date.

      One thing about little munchkins is they’re very much in the present. Big drama and tears, then on to the next adventure. Hanging out with them is great practice for being present, if exhausting. (laughs)

      It is natural to ruminate a little, given the chance to digest the past further. The key is to just allow them to go by rather than investing in them as “truth”. Especially not judging them with shoulda couldas or working events up into grand story telling (interpreting). If you go there, thats when it’s good to redirect the attention.

      Also, how you redirect the attention is key. Resisting the experience just adds another layer to it to be resolved. If Stop is used to redirect the attention and flow of thinking, it can be good. Just try to avoid another internal conflict.

      Some people find post-retirement that they need some new hobby or interest so there is an area of charm in their life to keep them in it. Grandkids can certainly be one. 🙂

      DF as in Francis
      Thanks for your comments!

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