Occasionally on this site, a post attracts the angry. Mention of a teacher someone has an issue with or a subject that pushes someone’s buttons. Recently, a 6-year-old quote got someone going.
The irony of the issue raised is the nature of the Internet – something I’ve written about on my other blog. The more comments about a subject you make on-line – positive or negative – the more traffic you drive to the site. This is because the search engines that drive traffic are attention driven. Nature works the same way too.
If you make efforts to discount or attack something, you actually make them stronger. What you battle gets bigger. I’ve seen this demonstrated energetically as well. When you resist someone’s energy, you amplify it. Let go of grievances and go for solutions.
“I was once asked why I don’t participate in anti-war demonstrations. I said that I will never do that, but as soon as you have a pro-peace rally, I’ll be there.” – Mother Teresa
This is a great key to spiritual progress. Do you wish to live in grievance or in peace?
Let the laws of action take care of your former tormentor. What goes around, comes around. The more someone lies, the less they will be heard. And the more someone steals, the more they will lose. The more anger they express, the more they will be surrounded by it. Your job is your life. Give that your attention and watch it grow.
Davidya
Last Updated on April 26, 2018 by Davidya
It helps me to think of such upsets as similar to physical injuries: if it’s little, I just apply a bandaid and get on with life. If it’s more serious, I take appropriate action, and again, get on with life. Some “injuries” require more attention and response. With practice, we can learn to give an injury just the right amount of attention it needs. Without focusing on it for too long but also without pretending it hasn’t happened.
Thanks, Share. Yes – it’s a good point. Give it the attention it needs, then move on.
Sometimes things do need attention. Even sustained attention, like grieving the loss of a loved one. Or working through a barrier. And then the charge completes and it’s time to move on, move through.
It’s all about balance. Monitoring how you are, allowing you to process life, but not indulging in what has been or how you may feel you’ve been wronged. Look instead to solutions.
Got this in an email today from Nancy (more under the resist link above)
Conflict resolution has two components. The first is the situation that happened, the problem we face. The second is the emotion we greet it with. Both have to be addressed in order to resolve the situation; the problem and the emotion that surrounds it. If we only address one aspect, the other will bleed into other areas.
Hi David!
…..back from Thailand……ohhh i love warm tropical nights! 🙂
The ocean had 29 degrees Celsius…..mmmmhhhh
I would like to bring a different view to the one shared by Nancy.
I would not say that conflict resolution has two components (only sometimes).
First, usually a conflict happens as an outer mirror two a unconscious stuck emotion or an emotional signature. Why? because we lack the ability to look within, so we see it being reflected back to us from the “outside” of us. What the person does or says is not important….this is just the messenger. What is important is the message…that is the emotions triggered by this event. Being with that emotion or emosignature without condition commences it integration. The emotion triggered by this event is not a new one but a memory so integration is key here. AFTER it has been integrated (meaning we feel totally peaceful with the conflicting event) we will fully know what to do. Mostly (around 90% of the time) that means doing nothing because after the “cause” for the conflict is gone (the emotion that has been integrated) so will the conflicting situation. Sometimes we still need to do something…maybe talk etc. but we will know this clearly only after the emotion has been integrated. If we act to early it will be partly unconscious driven by the triggered emotional state.
much love to all
Michael
Hi Michael
Sounds lovely. We’ve had a mild winter this year and spring has come early. Cherry blossoms are coming out, shoots coming up…
Well – Nancy would agree roughly with what you’ve described. I was simply quoting a bit in that context. I’ve talked about her teaching around mirrors elsewhere here.
I was using a simple example. In some cases, there is simply an event and our response to it. In other cases, events arise as a result of our feeling tone. Then it becomes useful not only to be aware of how we’re responding but what we’re contributing – that others are responding to us in kind. This takes just a little more subtle awareness of our feeling state.
In one sense, thats the essence of the article itself. What we give our attention (and emotions) to makes it stronger.
Myself, I wouldn’t use “integrated” in respect to emotions. For me, its about resolving the charge. Then the drama settles out and perhaps a lesson about it is integrated.