There’s another aspect to our energetics that slowly becomes more clear. We not only have our internal energetic sludge but we also share it with others.
This is the main reason why we seek out “similar” people – they are similar or comfortable energetically, in both mind and heart. But we also might seek people who can supply what we lack because we’re plugged up. The blocked seeking the hyper, for example.
In Meyers-Briggs temperament testing, “Extroverts” are those that gain energy in a group. “Introverts” on the other hand tend to lose in groups even though they may be chatty. Judith Orloff talks about how we can take on energy we sense unintentionally or be drained by controllers and other “energy vampires.”
Learning to be aware of and manage our energy is a very useful talent. Noticing how it feels and where it feels. It can also help us understand how we relate to the world. And it may reveal more talents we didn’t know we had.
Part of the dynamic of a healthy new relationship is equalizing the energy. This may mean clearing areas of resistance at points of connection. Also bringing energy into mutual balance. And creating energy connections to share with.
These energetic (emotional) ties are literal connections. Like the nadis or energetic channels, we create threads or even tubes of connection with others. These can be very positive, like heart to heart connections with a loved one. Feeling like we’re always “in touch” with them.
They can also be less supportive, like a controlling connection from the will center of another to the root, our safety & survival center. This is more common if we have a blocked area and lean on another to supply us, leaving us open to manipulation.
This relates to why many suggest you choose your sexual partners with care. The 2nd chakra is our social chakra and is very open to connections, particularly in the shared energy of sex. Yet many people have collections of such unresolved threads, including sustained energetic connections with former lovers. How do you know if you have such? Have you forgiven and let go of the relationship emotionally? Or are you still holding on to the drama? Do you pine for someone you’ve never met? That emotional energy will sustain a connection if both sides allow it. Either side can cut it. Then you cease sharing any unresolved issues between you. Much easier to just have your own stuff to work on.
Some of these connections are deep enough that they are sustained from one lifetime to another. They form the mesh of threads we have with others, bringing us back together over and over.
This can be wonderful for those with a deep and lasting shared journey. But for those relationships we bailed on, if we did not complete, nature will arrange for us to come together again to finish it up. This is why it’s best to do your own emotional completion of your past. Deal with it or it will be dealt to you. Refuse what is dealt to you and you have the essence of the wheel of karma, the same bums showing up over and over. 😉
If you can begin to see the threads of connection, where you feel the tugs, you can let them go, taking away the need for it to unfold in your life. This cleans up your past and your present. And that of course polishes up your future. If you can take care of your stuff, the challenges the world presents will be much eased.
Strong personal relationships that show up often have an element (or 5) that needs resolution in some form. Knowing this, you’re more likely to handle the relationship sympathetically. Work with it rather than fight it or have unreasonable expectations of it. Some connections may show up for fast and intense cleanup. And some are chosen to support us on our journey.
While they will all have challenges, some will present wonderful experiences. There can be unrequited love – a very strong connector. Or a desire to see someone through their life. Or repay a positive or caring debt.
As we progress down the pipe, people can show up that are astonishingly profound. They’ll stretch us in ways we didn’t know we could move. They’ll activate the best we have to offer. But also trigger purification of baggage we didn’t know we had. These are the most evolutionary relationships but may not be easy. (laughs)
You may have heard of recurring relationship connections as karma, meaning action. But is action not simply energy? Thus we can call these connections the threads of our karma. They are the causal drivers of our reactive behavior, our stories and some of our emotional habits.
It’s also notable that some of these connections can be deep enough to be causal. Profound connections that can be key drivers of multiple lives. When we let them go – either now or at the point of origin, all of the nodes of connection along the way fall away. This can have a profound effect on our own life but also on those of others we’ve been connected to. We’ve released one of the supports of our illusion.
It’s kind of like a net that’s kept us limited. As the threads fall away, the net begins to collapse and we are freed energetically. It’s like we’ve been tied down for so long we’ve forgotten the restriction. And suddenly, we can dance. We turn and find them standing there, awaiting the music.