Healing Compensation

Dharma is that which sustains. This gives us a stable platform for life and growth. Life itself is about balance for similar reasons.

When something goes out of balance, the system will seek to restore it. If what is off doesn’t respond, then other things compensate. For example, if we have an injured foot, we’ll lean more on the other one. This will sometimes overtax the healthy side.

We also talk about compensatory behavior. We may have habitual psychological responses to some kinds of events. For example, a partner needing downtime may trigger our fear of abandonment. That can lead to inappropriate acting out. We may not recognize the fear but can have a story that justifies the acting out. But the story isn’t the actual cause, nor is the partners behavior.

We may even develop compensations for the compensations. For example, we develop an approach to soothe the partner after a scene or we withdraw and take a downtime ourselves.

Even on the devata level, if a natural law gets thrown off by a contraction, another devata in the team will re-position to compensate and re-balance the flow. Our entire energy system is a process of checks and balances.

This becomes significant in healing. When we heal an original trauma, the compensations are often unconscious. Thus, we can heal but may continue the compensatory behavior out of long habit. But now the compensation itself is keeping us out of balance – in spite of healing.

Often, the mind will have a story about our compensatory behavior like “I need an available partner” or “X is to blame.” This can impede recognizing the actual cause and letting go of the behavior.

This is where insight into our dynamics is useful. Do we have habitual reactions to some circumstances that don’t serve us well? Do we over-compensate for some things?

What I suggest here is not a mental exercise. We don’t need another story to explain our story. That’s just another barrier to healing as mentioned. This is a process of observation, noticing reactivity and behavior, then feeling our way into the impulses at work.

With time and experience, the compensation will resolve and correct itself. But it quite helps if we’re a little conscious of this potential so we can recognize it and let it go. When we see a story clearly, it is seen through and put aside.

Healing is not just resolving the injury but restoring balance and wholeness.
Davidya

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2 Responses to Healing Compensation

  1. gayanee says:

    Thanks David! Very helpful pointers!

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