Life doesn’t always make sense. When it doesn’t, our mind naturally tries to fill in the gaps, to explain why. The problem comes when we start to believe these stories. Nancy observes that they then become our contracts and are self-fulfilling prophesies.
Our earliest stories are often the most primitive and subconscious. From our family and social circles we derive explanations, including some like not being good enough, being alone and being unsafe. It’s easier to feel bad about oneself than feel helpless.
Life’s disappointments tend to build on those old stories. We may try to blame others, use odd or illogical conclusions about the world, tell others and ourselves various excuses, and use phrases like “That’s just how it is”.
Sometimes, we tell stories to cover or avoid the truth. Or to avoid how we feel. It becomes easier to look outside of ourselves to meet our needs, even if that always fails us. Our most fundamental needs can only be met within.
Even though our stories limit us and bring us pain, when they are deep habits of thinking we fear change as it feels like changing who we are, and like breaking our internal contracts and agreements. We are stuck in the comfort zone, unwilling to take the Hero’s journey.
The Hero’s journey is in becoming conscious of how we feel and the stories we’re regurgitating. Listen to what we tell others and ourselves. Notice when we close or pull back from our goals and dreams. What are the excuses we offer to why we can’t? Is it true? Really? As we go deeper, some of those habitual stories will be very primitive and strange. Yet they work as a filter, colouring all of our life. However, once seen and the emotions associated processed, they are wound down and our life is uplifted.
It takes time and practice and patience with ourselves. But the rewards are profound.