Busting Beliefs

As readers of this blog know, I often talk about “the story”. This is a conceptual structure we use to give meaning and relate to the world with. While this can aid us, the story can also get in the way of seeing what is actually here. This can prevent us from recognizing who we are and enjoying the fullness of our life.

Much of the meaning we give to life arises when we’re young children. At that point, we’re just guesstimating and tend to blame ourselves for the shortcomings our parents point out. Some of the resulting beliefs can be rather primitive and harsh. We also have the role of vasanas, unresolved tendencies carrying over from past lives. These colour our experience and encourage certain kinds of conclusions.

I’ve explored ways that various teachers use to explore our story. Some teachers suggest inquiry. Some use techniques like “The Work“.

I first emphasize the value of an effortless meditation. This allows us to have the direct experience of who we are and also helps to clear much of the baggage we carry. What it doesn’t always cover is the stuff we’re more invested in, the stuff we keep reviving in our day-to-day life. These are sometimes called the sprouted seeds of karma.

Curiously, I’ve noticed that while we can remove the vasanas or tendencies automatically through deep meditation, the tendencies of those impressions may continue out of habit. These are of course the easiest to clear as they’re now just superficial habits. They just need to be noticed.

They key thing to remember about the story is that it’s not just what we’re telling ourselves but it’s also the emotions behind it that drive those ideas. A process must resolve both or they will continue to  arise again.

Happily, this is not actually hard. It’s just a little subtle or unconscious so we may need a technique or two to see and release them. Because it is simple, the essence of any good technique is simplicity. Further, all healing is through awareness. We just need to be able to see the story or belief for us to have a new choice and let it go.

Beliefs
Recently, a friend forwarded me an email on the Lefkoe Method. Morty and Shelley Lefkoe offer a simple technique for becoming aware of and letting go of beliefs that don’t serve us. They’ve identified about 20 beliefs that are very common, each with their own similar routine to walk you through seeing and releasing the belief. They offer 3 of them for free. (I’d recommend “I’m not Good Enough” first as it has a bit more background)

It’s a useful process to walk through, differentiating between what happened and the meaning we gave it. It includes the belief, the feeling value, and the senses. It will give you a good sense of how to approach beliefs within yourself. If you want, you can purchase others belief busters individually or as a set. Sometimes our beliefs are simple but so intertwined, it’s good to have some help unraveling them. For this, you can arrange a phone session with them.

They observe that as children, we naturally give meaning to events that arise. If something “bad” happens repeatedly, we tend to blame ourselves and create a belief of deficiency. If those beliefs remain unexamined in adulthood, they can impede our enjoyment and success. Further, beliefs tend to beget more beliefs and thus a whole story is born.

“I create my beliefs
Beliefs determine what I do and feel.
Therefore, I create my life and I can change it.”

They observe that we tend to see ourselves as the sum total of our beliefs (the story) yet even if our beliefs change, we’re still here. We don’t eliminate our sense of self if we delete beliefs. (though the ego may fear this) They go on to observe that you need an interpreter to create an interpretation. That you are this interpretation creator, not the creation. “As the creator, what limitations do you have?” Interestingly, they talked about witnessing your creation and being consciousness.

They summarize:
1) change your creation by changing your beliefs.
2) see yourself as creator and transcend your own creation.

Morty has a blog with various articles on the subject. Here’s a “best of” post with links.

Conditioning
For a long time they didn’t have a solution for people with an eating disorder. They realized that overeating is not primarily belief-based. Rather, it’s driven by conditioning; what they describe as the emotional equivalent of belief.

Like beliefs, conditioning happens from repeated experience. They suggest 2 ways conditioning arises. The first happens when we make a connection between comfort or distraction from a bad experience and food. The second happens when we equate food with a reward. Both are of course common experiences in childhood. How many of us had parents that rewarded deeds with sweets or gave us dessert for eating our vegetables? Food is the easiest to condition as we eat 3 times a day and these routines went on for years.

These associations create “triggers” emotionally. When we experience certain emotions or feel we deserve a reward, the trigger is activated and we feel a compulsive need to eat. The solution is in removing the triggers (associations) and thus the unwanted behavior stops. They suggest it is as easy as removing beliefs, but as its emotional, it is more subtle and can be multi-layered. Rather than having an on-line or downloadable program this requires personal sessions. They claim high success rates. You can explore a free report that goes into this in more detail, outlining the process. If you follow a belief process first (above), this will be clearer.

I noticed Morty suggested a few times that this is the total solution for overeating. Overeating can often lead to bad food choice habits  as well. This technique may solve the compulsions that lead to overeating, but there is great value in culturing healthy lifestyle habits afterward. This will be much easier with the triggers resolved but I would not describe it as the complete solution.

We will still need to process stress and give ourselves rewards. They suggest we find other pleasurable activities like meeting friends, movies, or a book. Don’t forget effortless meditation. Healthy escapes can be fun and free of guilt.  😉

This article is not an endorsement of the method. I’ve not spoken with the Lefkoes nor purchased any products. But I’ve reviewed their on-line materials and saw some value here. They offer another  perspective on ways we can lighten our load and enjoy life more fully.
And that’s a wonderful thing.
Davidya

PS: Here’s a video where Morty walks through the process (with lots of explanation) with Joe Vitale (5 parts)   Busting with Joe Vitale.  (the free on-line tools are simpler)
In another clip, Joe talked about also ending his resistance to exercise this way.

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5 Responses to Busting Beliefs

  1. passionatepresence says:

    Hi Davidya,

    This a very rich post. I really love the effortless meditation. It is so simple, yet it took some time to see how ego wanted to add to the allowing. In the allowing, seeing the unwillingness to allow and allowing even that is key. That was the initial layer here. Seeing I couldn’t allow without trying to manipulate and control. There were many subtle layers of this that would arise.

    What eventually broke through was a really important seeing. I would describe it as the impersonal seeing in that it doesn’t really comment on what is happening even if emotional waves arise. It seemed to be important to allow each emotion full expression here when no one else was around. There was a kind of energy release with it.

    I like the distracting behaviors pointing. I really hadn’t seen how much of that was here. These tend to be the actions I really like to take to move awareness to pleasure especially if there has been a period of resistance and judging. In a sense judging and resistance is not only a prison, it is very energy draining.

    Resistance here typically takes the form of distracting behaviors, and a fear of really seeing what is going on or what awfulness may be lurking there unseen. In a sense, I would say it is fear of my self. I am afraid of the “me” that has been hidden away is another way to put it.

    This is an existential lack of trust. So, it tooktakes (apparent) time for it to be o.k. to let all arise. Here it iswas exacerbated by the core belief that I am not good enough and I “should” do better. It is the performance program conditioned in by parents, schools, religious beliefs, etc. acquired to constantly do better. Really seeing the truth of this was a root cause kind of seeing.

    It is the ongoing super ego monitoring process with an inner whip on standby when the judgment is metted that “what is” happening is not good enough or right according to acquired rules and beliefs.

    Seeing this program and how much damage it has done along with the program that says I have to be smart and intelligent. The “I Know” program has dished out so much punishment and caused so much trouble I can’t begin to capture it. That was a real eye opener and we can see how these are contributing to the troubles we face in our societies today.

    Awareness of all this reveals the shadow and the life of quiet desperation. Seeing the price paid to live in a prison can provide the courage to allow everything out in the open. I find it very humbling and at the same time, the sense of freedom that occurs no matter what is going on is the most wonderful gift.

    I can now understand why Jesus (supposedly) spent time with thieves, prostitutes, and the diseased. These folk know better than anyone how they don’t measure up. There is no ability to ignore these traits as they are at the surface. His (reported) ability to embrace these people (I suspect) allowed them to embrace themselves and be set free of the negative ties that defined them. That is the way it works here I can say.

    It is not through self monitoring, constant striving for perfection, control, manipulation, or even development that integration occurs. Rather it is the authentic seeing and allowing so freedom breaks through, unity becomes visible with all here. Everyone feels like family, like part of me not because either of us is perfect according to some kind of belief system or standard. Instead it is the release from all these ideas, beliefs, and standards that allows the original perfection to shine and the unity comes from walking through that valley that does feel like the shadow of death.

    It is humbling to see that the fear of sin and being sent to hell is in fact being sentenced here in this life through the prison of resistance. I forget what painting it is. It is fairly famous and old. Essentially, the main thrust of it is not that God sends anyone to hell, we do it to ourselves. The painting more or less depicts people throwing themselves into hell. Allowing really makes that visible, and the visibility or awareness in of itself sets forth the freedom.

    Resistance, as you state, is no longer needed, and also o.k. if it is to reveal yet another layer.

    It is not an easy process to trust, and turning back happens many times here, and that is o.k. too, There is nothing wrong, and therein lies the freedom and unity. Having a standard of perfection actually gets in the way. Who knew?

    Good Stuff!
    Deep Bow
    Ben

  2. Davidya says:

    Hi Ben
    Wonderfully put. Thanks for sharing.
    Yes, the impersonal observer or witness allows us to see without judgement or control.

    And yes, it is amazing how much energy we use keeping up our “front”, holding the wall against what is. And it can be such a relief to let it go. Some describe it like peeling an onion; layers and layers we’ve built up over lifetimes.

    The reason for the fear of seeing is that the ego-sense knows that if its seen, it will end. It knows it is fakery, so it does everything to distract and resist being seen.

    I’ll also note that while the conditioning came from parents, schools, etc, the tendency to be conditioned in certain ways came from our side. Our shadow story (Eckharts pain body) made us prone to react in certain ways. This is part of the responsibility we have for what has unfolded. Not in a sense of blame, but rather in not getting the idea we should put fault on others either.

    Beautifully put.

    I’ve come to see that heaven and hell are not somewhere else but are lived right here on earth.

    Yes, its like we take 2 steps forward and 1 step back. But progress and integration both arise through this process.

    Thanks again for sharing

  3. Pingback: Food as False Protection « In 2 Deep

  4. I enjoyed reading this article. Limiting beliefs limit our manifestations or creations. I love “I create my life, therefore I can change it”. Thank you for the recommended resources.

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