Life can be a very curious journey. Because of all our expectations, history, and conditioning, we often end up conflicted about things that are important to us. Money, work, relationships, and so forth. We can even find ourselves fighting against amazing opportunities, simply due to uncertainty. Or more deeply, a mistrust in life’s goodness. Fear makes even heaven seem like jumping off a cliff, even if it’s only a step away.
Now certainly, life circumstances can arise that require us to put aside some things. Like letting go of personal time to raise children. But even there, we can be mindful of how we’re dealing with that. Are we accepting the short-term constraints or rumbling under the surface?
Unless resolved, conflict leads to something being repressed. When our desires are repressed, we spend a lot of energy keeping them so. This not only reduces available energy, it can cause illness and impede our ability to experience happiness. When we’re busy trying to control, we may find the flow of life makes us feel pushed or “forced”. We then wonder why life is not “working”.
And then life starts to squirt out the side. No matter how hard we put a lid on it, those desires are still at play, active beneath the surface. Brewing a stew. At some point, it will leak out somewhere unpredictable. Out from beneath the veneer of “supposed to”.
Then, we find ourselves stumbling sideways into what we’ve wanted all along. Only it may have been so long that we’ve forgotten the desire was even there.
But life always finds a way.