As we approach awakening, we may notice fear there, an apparent fear of awakening. Considering the promise we may have heard of what awaits, this may seem a curious response. But it’s important to recognize it is not awakening we fear. It is loss.
The ego fears its own winding down. Some describe “ego death” or the end of the ego with awakening and that is indeed often the experience. But actually, it’s root (what I call the person) does go on for some time yet. The only real loss is of identification with that. What we once saw ourselves to be, we now see as a companion, a vehicle.
There is also typically a lot of letting go. Of concepts. Of long-held beliefs. Of pain. Of our story about life. Of expectations. Of needs and shoulds. The list goes on and on but comes down to our coping mechanism for the illusion. Lots of things to lose.
But none of these bring us joy. Peace. Or freedom. What we’re really letting go of is our burden. But it is a familiar burden. Thus, we may fear that loss of familiarity. But as we gradually trust the process more and more deeply, the benefits become clear and the letting go comes more easily.
At some point, we simply allow it to be as it is. We surrender. Even just for a moment. And the fear is over. The light begins to shine in earnest. We are coming home.