There is an aspect of the waking process, the way of growth of consciousness, that is important to understand. That experiences all turn to dust.
One aspect of this is the simple fact that experiences are temporary and of the moment. As soon as the experience is past, it is a memory. It is the past. And when memory becomes part of a story, it is always revisionist. Subject to change.
Any attempt to hold the experience is just manipulating a memory and it soon morphs into a story about a memory rather than an actual experience. If instead we release the experience, we become open for something related to return.
On several occasions I’ve talked about the cycle of growth and development. Balance, disintegration, growth, integration, and repeat. What might be called “spiritual experiences” tend to take place in the growth stage. This is why it is often called expansion, opening and other such words.
But there is another aspect to this cycle that is not as obvious and may be confusing when it’s being experienced. Within any given stage is other cycles. A growth stage includes it’s own cycle of disintegration, growth and reintegration.
What we may experience is that the opening itself kicks up some dust or creates a space into which old dramas, karma, or resistance rushes. We go from a great vision or happiness into a murky fog.
The net result is that we may experience what can seem like devolution after what seemed like great experiences. A nice clear step forward, followed by a shadowing or reduced clarity. This increases the contrast and perception of what seems ‘lost’.
Sometimes, our life may even seem to be dominated by larger cycles of clarity and shadow.
This is a natural part of the process and indicates it’s working. It’s happening. This is why we release experiences that arise – both ‘good’ and ‘bad’. And it’s why we don’t give any of it too much heed. It’s not the experiences that are important in and of themselves but rather the process that is occurring.
This is not to say we should expect things to get cloudy if we have a sunny day. Only that we should not be surprised.
If we have a particularly large swing in either direction, we may feel a need for some extra rest. If so, take it. It can help move into integration more quickly. To clear the clouds that have arisen.
It’s all part of the process…