Allowing to Clear

On the recent Fear post, Uzma asked about allowing vs going into fear. It seemed useful to share the response and go into it a bit more.

Many in fields such as psychology advocate going into your experience to release the pain. While this can help, the problem is that it is also going into your story and can be traumatic in itself. Going into your story can amplify it and make it more real. You’ve probably heard stories of issues created when people dug too much into their muck. The medicine can sometimes be worse than the disease.

The key thing to understand is that there is emotions and then there is our stories about those emotions. As we step out of the story, our relationship with feelings changes completely.

In the story:
“That guy hurt me badly by such and such, etc etc.”
Big long story, oft repeated. Suffering and drama, pain, blame.

In ego, the me:
“I am hurt”
Still taking it personally, so some suffering remains but without the drama.

In presence:
“hurt”
Which is now only briefly and with little or no suffering.

In the open heart:
“feeling”
All is an aspect of love and happiness.

How far down this list we go depends on the clarity we have at the time. Presence becomes normal after Self realization and an Open Heart as that matures. This is why awakening is described as the end of suffering.

At first, the story and emotions can seem inextricably entwined. They seem one and the same. But if we culture allowing what is, as it is, we find moments when the emotions will arise and we can simply be with them, without the added story. Or maybe the story is there but we pay it less heed. We simply experience what arises.

This ‘being with what is’ lets the resisted emotions wash over us and resolve. It’s usually very quick. With the emotion no longer present, the story is no longer energized and dissolves. Once we see it, it’s easy and fast. We dump eons of baggage in moments.

Mind thinks it needs to DO something. But what it needs to learn is to allow. To just let it be. Be aware, yes. Because awareness is seeing, stories is illusion.

If you look under “Key Posts” on the right, there is links to other posts on this subject under “Clearing”. Culturing Gratitude was huge for me around this.

You can go into the story to heal, but it’s much more difficult. This way is faster and easier, but a bit more subtle, a bit less obvious at first.

This process also makes it very clear how the story exists only because of the resisted feelings. This helps make the mechanics of illusion clearer and is also removing the foundation of ego. That of course opens the way for awakenings. Thus – its not just about lightening the load but turning the load into light (laughs)

Be aware of unity if it is your experience. Or aware of presence or being aware. Or gratitude for what is – anything that draws you into the present. That’s what’s real, what dissolves illusion, and what makes things happen. Everything else is memory or projection, the story, the drama.

Mind likes to understand, likes to have a story. But mind is fooled by illusions, caught be stories. Stories don’t make sense, which confuses mind. Mind concludes the world is irrational when it’s just seeing its own stories, not reality. Moving into the present shifts us out of mind, out of stories, out of memories and projections, past and future. Into what is.

Work on love? One does not work on feeling love. Love is. One feels it or does not. But one can give attention to allowing love. Then love will begin to be seen more and more, even in what has seemed to be pain.

You may enjoy Takuins recent post on Grief.
Davidya

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14 Responses to Allowing to Clear

  1. Uzma says:

    Thank you Davidya.
    This makes sense . Be aware. Love happens.

    Will look up your Key posts. Indeed, gratitude may help me more as I seem to be going in circles with this ‘understand your story’, bit.

    Thank you. Awfully nice of you to end up writing an entire post.

    Blessings and Peace

  2. Davidya says:

    Yes, Love happens because Love is all there is. All we experience arises in Love. As we release our resistance, this becomes increasingly clear.

    Yes, the story takes you in circles because it doesn’t want to be seen. Thats part of the game. Ego knows that if it is seen, it will end. But it can be seen in the moment, the present.

    Thank you, Uzma for inspiring the post. When one calls, it is the voice of many.

  3. Jafra says:

    One of the very best and most meaningful I’ve ever read — from you or anyone. I’m already “there”, leaving my story FAR behind after 77 painful years, but I have a friend who really would benefit from everything in this one — she’s “trying so hard…” but she REALLY believes (and pays big money to do so) that going through her story is the only way SHE has to heal, painfully … piece by piece each step of the story, while I “sail away” and she wonders why.

    Of course, I’ve been there, but maybe not quite so stuck in my shoes as she. I DO distinctly recall not that long ago when my resistances and beliefs were quite hidden from me; it was a very dark place to be in, like having always been blind and not knowing it, and I do know it does “take as long as it takes” — for each of us. We all seem to have different “clocks” to awaken us, I’ve noticed.

    She is so far into her “resistances” she cannot SEE (and probably would be overwhelmed to do so) the countless resistances that dwarf her spirit and passions, probably just as shrouded as I once was. She faithfully studies Isha’s “Why Walk…” book, and Abraham and the LoA but, as desperate as she has become for having more money, her resistances never give her passions opportunity to come alive to allow that to occur.

    Strangely, as I emerged sufficiently from my story, my resistances seemed countable, and the obstructive beliefs required almost no effort on my part to simply refuse to continue them because they were now in my way. Is it THAT easy for most people after they emerge from their story? That was a curious experience — thinking I was going to have to work hard to rid myself of them all and then they dissolved quite easily and peaceably. (smile)

    All I can do is hold my my heart open and hold high my own glowing passions to light her way until she can see that there IS another way. I “miss her” were she she seems to be “stuck at”. Any further ideas?

    Thank you so much for covering all the bases on this subject. I do intend to someday give her a copy of this, hopefully with good timing, that I’ve saved in a .docx named “EXTRAORDINARILY GOOD… Allowing 2 Clear”. (I save quite a few of your excellent posts). I just HAD to comment on this one — because it’s so all-encompassing and thorough.

  4. Davidya,

    I just want to say thank you for your support over the last two or so years. I really appreciate all of your activity in keeping the topics going on your own site.

    Even though I rarely comment on other blogs, I do understand the value in putting oneself out there for others.

    Not that it matters, but I sometimes wonder if Takuin has been too anonymous?

  5. Ariel says:

    The different “levels” you describe are amazing to see displayed so clearly. Love that part, Davidya.

  6. Davidya says:

    Hi Jafra
    Thank you for the praise. Thank Uzma as she drew it out. 😉 The more I let Self speak, the more relevance it has for people.

    I can relate to the challenge with your friend. The story is very tricky and wants to be heard. The more attention it gets, the stronger, like a self-reinforcing bubble. When we begin to see through it, sometimes it can really kick up a drama. Rather like a child in the “terrible two’s”. Sometimes, the clarity is good and we can easily choose. And sometimes we’ll have periods when the clarity is less so. Where the story comes up again.

    Adyashanti talks about a ‘honeymoon’ period after awakening where everything is grand. But the mind can then try to come back. I’ve seen people refuse it. And people step right back into it, like a comfortable old smelly coat. Notably though, they now see it’s a drama but still may choose to continue for a time. Lorne doesn’t talk about this much as it can create expectations that this is normal. The idea is to see there’s a choice and take it.

    While being awake is very different from being trapped, the mechanics are then conscious and becoming more so. This makes talking about it much easier. The mechanics are the same.

    In the example you give for yourself, there was an expectation it would be hard yet the experience was easy. It does not take any doing. Just allowing. But each of us has places where we can allow more easily than others. You may find something less easy down the road. What you could count was what was conscious. You’ll find other layers become conscious over time and the dynamics will be progressively subtler. Not to create further expectations or anything. (laughs) Just take the same approach.

    At some point, you will become the world. All of it. Then you’ll not be able to count the resistances. (laughs) Then you just deal with what’s on your plate.

    The path is always a surprise. Whatever ideas we have of it, our own journey will be unique. It will never meet our expectations. Fortunately, it will often vastly exceed them. Sometimes astonishingly so.(laughs)

    Never underestimate the power of your simple presence. We sometimes feel we have to do something. Especially men. But if you can simply be present in the peace with her, you are modeling what she seeks. She may not feel it but it will enliven it in her. It is not only the great saints who give darshan. All of us do, in our own little unintended ways.

    Time is very curious. We seem to have a past and future, but they exist only in mind. Only the moment is real. And yet, the moment is always changing and everything happens when it should. There is a deep perfection in that. Within that perfection is the remarkable idea that she can awaken from her story. That you and I can talk about it and see the possibility. Before, this was only a dream.

  7. Davidya says:

    Hi Takuin
    Thanks for the feedback. And thank you for sharing your own thoughts. We’ve come to this place in a very different way, so I value another perspective. Especially one so clear.

    For this blog, I’ve found commenting on other blogs has brought me more quality readers than social networking sites like Digg. A highlighted article there can bring large volumes of what I call “skimmers” – few of who stick around or follow links.

    That said, I’ve only had time to follow a small number of blogs actively. And some of those have changed quite a bit, like Tom’s going non-interactive.

  8. Davidya says:

    Thanks Ariel. When I updated the original comment for this post, I added an example and the ‘levels’ simply unfolded. I love that part of writing from openness. I learn too.

    The process is very curious though. Recently, I’ve become more aware of how much person is still present. This is actually progress but feels like I’ve gone backwards. Greater clarity feels like less. (laughs) Something new to be seen and found OK. Some value of person needs to be present to express our unique qualities and perspective as long as we’re embodied.

    When one wonders the value of this, the feedback is appreciated. Thanks everyone!

  9. Uzma says:

    Wow, I love the way this post has so many people thanking each other. I thank Davidya, Davidya thanks me for the idea of the post, Takiun thanks Davidya, Davidya thanks everyone. Lots of gratitude here,and I love this. Its great fun. But really. It shows much learning and awareness is taking place when questions, answers, and expressions arise and finally awareness sets in. Things come together when they’re meant to, the collective soul is here. Somehow, this post has brought people out. I wonder why?? I found great gratification and peace after reading it. Am assuming thats what happened here, for Davidya and everyone.

    The journey brings surprises , as Davidya says. Somewhere this post is a milestone, or so its seems.

    Davidya I found you through Takuin’s site:-) so yes, your valuable comments on others site help better than Stumble etc as your aim is sharing your insights etc and not gaining popularity alone. That is another way.

    Keep walking and sharing. We’re all learning and re-discovering awareness.

    Blessings.

  10. Davidya says:

    The ways of the force are mysterious, Uzma. (laughs)
    Comments tend to beget comments, but what starts that? What causes one post or another to be popular? Some of the most popular are silent, some full of feedback. Sometimes, when I write I am full of joy or some such but it doesn’t always translate into interest.

    I concluded it’s simply a matter of timing. The right response for the right moment. However much I may speak from Self and joy, there are moments when things mesh on a larger scale. When the group calls it. That’s when it seems to resonate most.

    All I can do is write when called and wonder at when it speaks to people. And thank those that brought the moment into being. Thanks, Uzma 😉

  11. Davidya says:

    BTW – it’s also very curious how the message comes. Your comment about a milestone was an interesting “coincidence”. I was just thinking about that – the feeling is that I’m transiting a milestone. What that is is not clear yet but I sometimes get a sense of transition during or as it initiates. It then unfolds in sometimes subtle and sometimes obvious ways. Tends to be bigger when it’s being affirmed by others…

  12. Uzma says:

    This is a milestone for me as well. Again, like you I know not how it will open and unfold. Ah the force is mysterious , indeed.
    Keep writing. May many more moments come into being.

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