Those of you who read this blog regularly may have noticed a big drop in new posts.
In the process of growth there are 2 sides to the cycle. The dissolution of the old and the integration of the new. When people talk of expansion of awareness, deepening silence, increased clarity, and awakenings, they are speaking of the integration step. This occurs after sufficient clearing has taken place. The release of knots, the seeing through of old stories and beliefs, and the ending of resistance are all forms of clearing, of dissolution of the old.
Much talk about growth of awareness focuses on key turning points such as first awakening and the loss of ego or the later end of identity. When the core drops out of old beliefs, often there are still bits and pieces left over that were built on those cores. Over time, these come up, are seen through and discarded. Allowed and released.
In my own journey, both of my parents were educators and great value was placed on being knowledgeable. Indeed, knowing was the key to being acknowledged. In my youth, I rebelled against this, doing badly at what my family valued and exploring things they knew nothing about. I became an expert in several fields. This was a core piece of “who I am”. How the me saw itself. As the blog reveals, the drive to know was deep and carried forward well into my spiritual development. Knowledge dominated even my deepest experiences.
And now, that drive to know and be knowledgeable seems to have fallen away. A deep inner grasping ended. As it turns out, this was also what drove my writing. And several other aspects of the life. Corollary aspects of the story and beliefs are also falling away.
I expect to continue to write. But I have no idea what form this will take. The person that is this vehicle of expression has changed deeply.
The falling away of old beliefs is not new to me. It is an integral part of the journey. As I have noted elsewhere, each time I thought I had reached some pinnacle, the view expanded and more was seen. With a major shift, you are left back in kindergarten again. It is what makes the journey so much fun – reality keeps changing.
This one was a key driver of my expression though so it will change some of the more obvious things. Self continues to move forward and absorb everything. And that’s a very fine thing.
Last Updated on August 21, 2017 by Davidya
Davidya,
I never mentioned this to you, but I wondered when this might happen. We have talked, outside of comments, about different things here and there, but I never brought this up. I didn’t want to spoil the surprise ending, Haha.
But it isn’t finished. I am not saying I know the intimate functions of your mind, but there may be something so final for you, words will not work. It will never be enough to say, “I know what lies at the end.” It will also never be enough to say, “I know words will not work.”
Let the flower bloom. But don’t be afraid to let the flower die.
Be good, and let it happen, my friend.
(Laughs) Yes, Takuin, I wondered myself. It’s been such a part of the experience. And as usual, when it goes, it is always a surprise ending. Or beginning.
I am very curious to see what develops. Not only did I have the drive to know but was presented with much knowledge, sometimes well past what I was “supposed” to be able to know. Of course, I always sought a reason for this. Why me?
Yes, these days there is much about my life I simply need to let happen. The old is passing. One flower blooms, another dies.
Thanks, my friend.
My joy for you is such that tears want to well up. Truly.
It will be what it will be. Maybe I’m reading too much finality into your words, but if you never write another sentence you will have still have left a body of work that can stimulate, guide and inspire many IMHO. I have a feeling that we will hear more from (or through) you though.
One question that’s been on my mind lately though is this: When one has awakened, and realized all is one, is the experience of writing a blog or teaching like talking to yourself? How is the rest of humanity perceived? Takuin, or anyone else, please feel free to answer.
Peace to All.
Thanks, Eric
There have been many more profound clearings, but this one has had a more practical effect. Self moves more and more into everything.
I wrote a book last year that was part of the process of getting conceptually clear. That has helped with the blog. But it was also part of my spiritual process. One never knows what the vehicle may be.
Given the prominence of this in my life lately, its a curious change. The book now seems like 400 pages of concepts. (laughs)
There is no finality and the writing still comes up. But at the moment, there is little new to be said. I am planning an index of key articles as they’re scattered around and difficult to find.
Thanks again for your thoughts. Always nice to know some value has been seen.
Eric – your question.
In Unity we can say the experience is the same but who is experiencing is quite different. As one is both experiencer and the object of experience, they are not distinguished and cease to be. We are aware of awareness aware of itself. What occurs is simply the movement of awareness within itself, the process. Don’t try to get this with your mind. It is just about attention.
It’s not like talking to yourself. It’s like noticing you are breathing. It is simply occurring within your attention. Attention may be directing it or simply attending it. (remember that everything we experience arises from attention and intention)
When you come home from work, you shift roles from being worker or boss into being partner or parent. These are different aspects of your person we shift with attention. From Oneness, other people are aspects of Self. Also tables, stars, and insects. Shifting attention determines what is experienced.
Touch something and you feel touching and being touched. At first you become what you put your attention on. Then attention simply moves, you already are that.
Keep in mind, this is several steps away from most peoples experience so there is little here you can use to relate to it, except perhaps memories of experiences of being connected. But those remain experience, not being. Being is exponentially more.
But also know that this is our birthright. It is a normal and natural experience, not something exotic. It has the quality of being ordinary.
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