In my last post, Understanding the Opposite Sex, the message came down to love. In essence, that we should simply love. Be the love we seek.
The message not mentioned is that if we want love, we must give it. This is a key point that most of those songs on the radio (or MP3 player) completely miss. Real Love cannot be lost or gained, it can only be given.
I spoke of the difference between this idea/emotion of love vs true love over on Love Is.
As I quoted Nirmala on Love is for Giving “Just go ahead and love whatever is in front of you, and in that way be filled with love. It is that simple if you remember that the essence of love is awareness and space.”
Love does NOT come from another person. If you enter into a relationship with the purpose of “finding love”, you are dooming the relationship from the start. Emotional love may seem to come from another but if you pay attention you will see it arises in you. Perhaps inspired by them but still from you. That sort of love is conditional and transitory. It will waste with the vagaries of life. Worse, many relationships are not even founded on that. They are rooted only in meeting needs for security or attention. When the other person changes as they inevitably will, they may no longer meet your unspoken needs. You will make them at fault. They will be blamed for your unmet needs, perhaps without ever even knowing they were there. This is the story of many a divorce.
But this whole process is a complete mistake, an invitation for pain and suffering.
If you want to find a sense of security and attention and the source of real love, you must look within. What you are looking for is not out there, it’s an internal intimacy you seek.
When you clear the decks, you will come to a place of an open, unprotected heart. Able to absorb anything that comes along. A heart that will overflow, seeking only to give. A heart that will seek a person of affection to flow to. A heart that will sing for joy in giving.
This is where we will find true compassion, sharing and intimacy. We will find ourselves the vessel of love to flow into the world. A love that can only get deeper and will never end. A love that is who you are.
Of course, each of us has some work to be done to open the gates, to step out of the cesspools of fear and hate we hold inside. But the more we step toward what we are, the more the heart will open and love will begin to sing.
Relationship will never the same.